


A Rogue What?!

by athirstygoil



Series: A Rogue What?! [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Animal Death, Anxiety Attacks, Consensual Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Implied Suicide Attempt, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Masturbation in Shower, Mentioned Mutilation, Sans and Papyrus are switches, Sexual Frustration, Sibling Incest, Swearing, excessive amounts of flirting, mentioned voyeur kink
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-21 16:33:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11361294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/athirstygoil/pseuds/athirstygoil
Summary: The forests of Underfell are expansive. When the Fell brothers investigate in one of the worst blizzards of the Underground, they find something unexpected.





	1. What Awaits in the Storm

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT: Thank you all so much for the feedback and kudos! :D 
> 
> 9/13 EDIT: Added more paragraph spaces for easier reading!
> 
> I noticed though there's plenty of dynamics for Underfell's characters, there isn't much on the Underground itself. My goal with this series is to explore the world of Underfell. Also work on my interpretation of the Fell bros. c:
> 
> Smut will appear on the next chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1/29/18: Minor factual edit. Will be revisited in a later chapter.

“hey uh...boss?” Neatly affixing his scarf over his armor, the tall skeleton turned smoothly to his underling and raised a brow ridge.

“YES? WHAT IS IT?” The smaller skeleton grinned nervously.

“snow’s getting heavier. don’t ya think we can do this some other time?” Brow ridge now furrowed, his superior straightened and narrowed his eyes.

“A BIT OF SNOW SHOULDN’T PREVENT US FROM PATROLLING, SANS. A GUARD DOESN’T LET LITTLE THINGS LIKE THAT GET IN THE WAY OF HIS DUTY.”

"it snowed like another three inches pap! it hasn’t even been an hour!” Sans's voice rose in disbelief. “with how much it’s been pelting don’t you think it’d be a lot more difficult to track anything?!” Papyrus frowned, but then it rose to a smirk.

“AH BUT YOU FORGET BROTHER,” he stated, “A HUMAN COULD BE USING THE WEATHER TO THEIR ADVANTAGE.” He drew his gloved hand to his face dramatically. “THEY COULD BE MARCHING THROUGH SNOWDIN THIS VERY INSTANT!”

“are you fucking--” Sans covered his face with his metacarpals, his voice rising as his sentence progressed. “seriously?! you don’t know that! for all we know, a human could be sitting it out behind that **huge door** when they saw how **shitty. it was. outside**!” 

Exasperated, he flung his fists around defiantly. “i’m **not** goin out there, bro and you can’t make me!” His brother’s smirk lowered into a frown again. His voice followed suit, as his words became more punctuated.

"TRY TO OPPOSE ME, ONE MORE TIME.” uh oh. Sweat immediately beaded on the smaller skeleton’s skull.

“i uh--just don’t wanna lose you in the storm boss,” he stammered, “honest!”

“THEN WEAR THE COLLAR,” his brother suggested icily, as if it were plainly obvious.

“wha--and how’s that gonna help?” A slap to the kitchen counter interrupted him. Boss glowered, red eyes flaring.

“SANS.” The smaller skeleton stiffened.

“y-yeah boss?” Phalanges pinching his nose ridge, his brother’s voice came out a growl.

“YOU NEED TO MAKE UP FOR THOSE TIMES I’VE CAUGHT YOU SLEEPING AT YOUR STATION. HOW CAN ANY MONSTER LEARN TO RESPECT THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS IF THEY DO NOT RESPECT HIS BROTHER?” Papyrus sighed, his tone now lax. The emphasis on each word was still present however. 

“You are an extension of me, Sans. You represent me when I am not there. And the collar is a reminder of that. I can’t pick up your slack all the time,” a gloved phalange gently scratched at Sans’s temple as Boss smirked. “Besides, what other monster can I trust if not you?” 

Blinking dumbly, the smaller skeleton blushed brightly as soon as he realized the compliment. Papyrus chuckled when he covered his face with his hoodie. Walking toward the door, the tall skeleton motioned for him to follow. Sans reluctantly obeyed, slightly lifting his hood off his sockets. 

“Come now, it can’t be that bad Sans.” Snow greeted him in gusts as Papyrus opened the door. His brow ridge furrowed with a twitch as he frowned. “HM.” Surveying the scene, Papyrus walked confidently outside. His boots sunk into the freshly fallen snow with a pamf. 

Ankle-deep, only the height of his footwear protected him from the very unpleasant moisture. His frown deepened, and along with a faint dusting of rouge. “YOU BEST WEAR YOUR REAL SHOES SANS,” he said at last. “SLIPPERS WOULD DO NO GOOD HERE.” 

Sans exhaled loudly. There really was no way around it. Once Pap got it in his head, it was definitely happening. No point fighting the inevitable. As his brother returned indoors, he defeatedly moved to find the collar Boss gave him. 

 

Unhurriedly shuffling to the living room, he eyed the couch. Using his phone as a light, he proceeded to search under it. Hm. He figured it as much. 

Furrowing a brow ridge as he closed the flashlight app, he moved to the television. Over and around it he looked but again, no collar. From across the room, he gave their pet rock a glare of suspicion, but it wasn’t near it in the least. 

Huffing, Sans walked to the kitchen, his stride a little longer. Steps slightly quicker. Opening all the drawers and cabinets with his magic, he brought all their contents forth.

Nothing but their various cutlery and silverware. Nothing but their motley collection of plates and dishes. He didn’t know what he expected. 

A flare of magic glowered with his frustrated growl, but he made sure all their things were put in their place. As if on cue, his brother called out from the next room. 

“IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT SANS?” 

Sighing heavily, Sans closed all the drawers and cabinets. If but a little loudly.

"just peachy. everything’s **just peachy** ,” he muttered to himself. “yeah,” he answered. 

There was a brief pause and a door closing before Papyrus called out again.

“DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE, BROTHER?”

“nah,” he said more to himself, then “nah bro I got this,” he replied loudly as he retrieved a bottle of mustard from the fridge. 

Well, at least he definitely knew it wasn’t there. Slurping mindlessly, he mentally ran through the places he hadn’t looked yet. 

He had checked the lower levels save for the closet (which Papyrus was currently using) so that only left their bedrooms and the bathroom. It wouldn’t be impossible for him to have left it in his bro’s room. After all, the two sometimes borrowed each other late at night. 

But if he had, Pap would have told him, or at the very least, handed it to him by a phalange the next time he saw him. Sighing, Sans resumed his search, and passed by just as Papyrus was removing his battle body in favor of a turtleneck sweater and slim pants. 

(Damnit he really didn’t need that right now.) 

Sans tried to hide the slight dusting of red on his cheekbones as he reached the stairs. Staring down at the carpet in appreciation of those bones, he didn’t realize he hit the bottom of the bottle once he started his ascent. 

Annoyed, Sans chewed at the tip before shortcutting the bottle to the nearest trashcan. A groan escaped his teeth. 

Man, why did his brother get him this way. It just wasn’t fair sometimes. Without even trying Papyrus could get him so worked up. 

Not like he didn’t like it-oh no. Sometimes it was something Sans craved. If he had a lip he’d surely bite it.  
Turning his attention to the top of the stairs, the smaller skeleton’s eyelights widened when he saw a stripe of red. A large, hopeful grin creased his face as he skipped steps to reach it.

Breathing a sigh of relief, the skeleton unhooked the collar from the upright and ran his distal phalanges on the soft material. For something so simple, Boss really went all out. Of all the junk that flowed into the Underground, he was able to find something so comfortable and so him. Sans smiled fondly. 

He’ll be sure to find it a permanent home one day when not in use. Staring at the small rounded spikes that matched his tooth, Sans lifted it to his neck and buckled the collar in place. The supple leather rested against his clavicle. He fingered the tag idly as he peered down the stairs to see what his bro was up to. 

Boss was getting his heavy jacket out of the closet. No way was The Great and Terrible Papyrus going to be unprepared for a long and cold excursion. He even brought out the bodysuit to cover his exposed features. 

Not like Sans minded seeing his brother’s bones, but it was disappointing he wouldn’t be admiring a eyeful of iliac crests once in little while. Ah well. 

“I WILL NOT HAVE YOU FREEZING OUT THERE SANS,” Papyrus said as he tossed him a sweater like his own before slamming his room door shut to change. Sans shrugged off his jacket as he slowly added the other layer over his shirt. Popping the collar out so it was visible, Sans put on his jacket and waited patiently in the hallway. 

The material was soft against his bones. Had maybe a couple small holes, and was slightly too long for him, (he had to tuck in the extra fabric to keep it all in check) but it was warm. 

Boss was so cool, thinking about him like that. Leaning against the wall, listening to the muffled noises from his brother’s room, Sans’s thoughts wandered. 

How Boss was probably dipping those hardened but beautiful tarsals through the translucent fabric. Or how his soft sweater cradled his rib cage. Those beautiful bones with slight fractures and chips. Those tiny cracks that decorated his little brother’s being. 

Sans felt a shiver up his spine. He couldn’t get enough of them. And he couldn’t wait for the next time he could get a feel for them. 

How he’d have his cute little brother. His helpless, precious brother...all to himself. 

Suddenly realizing his tongue had coalesced, Sans wiped the drool from his mandible with his jacket sleeve. _focus goddamnit. ugh._

Slapping his sockets with his metacarpals, Sans then remembered he was supposed to wear his real shoes outside today. He wondered where he put his sneakers last. It had been a while since he really needed them. He’d been getting around fine with just socks and fuzzy slippers. But that was during light snowfall. 

With the way the weather was coming down, it’d only take a couple minutes til they’d be soaked. Plus they’d take forever to dry. Sans found the notion unappealing. Padding to his room, the small skeleton fished around his piles of stuff until he maneuvered his footwear from them. 

Laces disheveled, but otherwise in like-new condition, Sans grinned. 

“would ya look at that. they survived.” Kicking his slippers near the mattress, the small skeleton slipped on the sneakers with care. They fit well to his surprise. 

Boss had gifted them to him a couple years back. Considering their state it was a miracle they even fit. “guess i didn’t grow too much since then.” he shrugged as he stood to get a better feel of them. 

The last time he wore them was to try them on the first time, much due to Boss’s insistence. He had taken them immediately off afterward, so it was no wonder they were still stiff. 

So Sans walked around his room, rocked onto the balls of his heels, and stood on his toes. The little exercises made certain they were at the very least comfortable for him, and not digging into his metatarsals or his calcanei. (New shoes usually chafed around the ankles even _with_ socks. He wasn’t taking any chances.) 

Satisfied, Sans walked into the hall, leaving the door slightly ajar. Papyrus was waiting. 

“TIE YOUR SHOELACES SANS,” he prompted, as he zipped the small skeleton’s jacket shut. Even the small detail, Paps would notice. As if he knew he’d forget. Sans chuckled lightly while the two climbed down the stairs. 

“aw c’mon bro,” he half-joked, “aren’t me wearing the damn shoes good enough for ya?”

“FINE,” the taller skeleton answered, as they both stepped out into the cold. “BUT YOU DON’T GET TO COMPLAIN WHEN YOU TRIP AND FALL ON YOUR SORRY ASS.” 

\----

Being outside confirmed Sans’s suspicions. It was terrible. His mood fell almost immediately. And it was a wonder their door wasn’t blocked. 

With a quick prompting from his brother, they carefully slid down the small slope that was once their porch stairs. With how slippery it was, as soon as they landed, Sans tied his laces with blue magic. 

“stupid motherfucking snow,” he mumbled, kicking at it. Only to have his foot misstep and sink cleanly into a deceptively deep pile. Sans would have laughed if he wasn’t so embarrassed. 

“uh boss?!” Struggling to keep his balance, the shorter skeleton unfortunately lost his footing and landed ungracefully into the pile. And almost immediately afterward, felt himself sinking. 

In a slight panic now, Sans tried again with a louder voice. “ ** _b-boss?!_** ” Flailing around wouldn’t help in the slightest, but he still tried to at least roll out of it. 

Nope. He just sank further in. Not happening then. 

If Sans knew how deep this snow was by stars he’d probably be less afraid but oh shit was this snow gonna eat him alive FUCK. 

Where the fuck was Boss? Wasn’t he just next to him? He wouldn’t let him sink would he FUCK THAT’S COLD. 

“aw c’mon if this is some new training tactic i swear to the void i will wreck your ass!” Finally, (fucking finally) Sans felt blue magic lift him from the snow just as it completely caved in, revealing a very large hole. 

He put on his best stern face only to see Papyrus’s failed attempt at stifling his laughter.

“YOU--” a snort escaped before he could stop it, “YOU FELL INTO MY TRAP.” Sans’s face deadpanned as Pap belted out loudly. 

The only pauses he took were for the occasional snort and to take a breath. “YOU’RE VERY LUCKY IT WAS STILL A WORK IN PROGRESS,” he snickered, “OTHERWISE IT’D BE SPIKES WRECKING _YOUR_ ASS, BROTHER.” 

oh. my. stars. He couldn’t believe this. The shorter skeleton took a breath. Boss’s laughter subsided into silence.

“ya got me good bro,” he smiled widely. “you really did.” His brother straightened triumphantly as his magic dissipated around Sans. 

The older of the two landed on his feet. Though, he did catch himself before he slipped again.

“NYEH HEH HEH!! YOU REALLY MUST FALL FOR MORE OF MY TRAPS BROTHER, SO I CAN GLOAT ABOUT HOW GREAT THEY ARE BECOMING,” he smirked proudly.

“don’t be silly bro,” Sans answered with a wink, “i’ll fall for you any day.” 

Paps’s expression became unreadable for a moment before he turned around.

“WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT FLIRTING WITH ME IN PUBLIC?” he glowered, his tone failing to hide the embarrassed air in his statement.

“not to...do it?” the shorter skeleton slowly teased. “besides, i know you like it.” 

Sans leaned in close, staring straight at his brother’s eyelights confidently. “no one else needs to know,” he continued, his tongue slowly coalescing until it gingerly touched Papyrus’s mandible. 

His brother’s eyelights shrank significantly and Boss immediately stiffened as he jerked away from Sans’s advances. 

Striding a few feet away, Papyrus took a few deep breathes before calling him over.

“COME SANS, LET US BE OFF.”

“coming boss,” he replied with a chuckle. Boss was so cute when he was flustered. 

Sans made sure to keep his distance, just in case Pap wasn’t ready to face him yet. He knew how he got when he was hot and bothered, but it was so fun to tease his baby bro. 

Trudging with a slight spring in his step after his superior, Sans kept his gaze at the ground. Maybe today wouldn’t be so bad after all. 

The snow was blowing a lot harder since they left their house, and it blustered into his sockets. Squinting flakes away the best he could, Sans followed the trail of his brother’s boots as they slowly made their way to their patrol route. 

Snowdin being on an elevated surface made the trek down a bit more treacherous with the wind beating against them. And the creaking bridges made it even more unsafe. But it wasn’t like the Great and Terrible Papyrus didn’t prepare accordingly. Oh no, he certainly set precautionary measures for times like these. Stopping at the foot of the first bridge, his crimson magic flared as he summoned a Blaster.

“GET ON,” he commanded, the incident from earlier nearly forgotten or stowed away for a later discussion. The smaller skeleton hesitantly jumped after him.

“do we have to?” the golden-toothed skeleton whined softly, immediately shrugging closer to his superior. He received a hard glare, and decided against discussing the matter further. 

As the two rode it across Sans clutched at the back of Papyrus’s jacket tightly, his phalanges and face dug into the supple leather. A small comfort in this harrowing ordeal. It felt like forever until the Blaster finally landed. 

When Sans opened his shaky sockets, he saw that they were way past the other guards. In fact, they were in front of Pap’s sentry station. Fearfully, the small skeleton faced his brother. 

“BLIZZARDS MAKE FOR GOOD COVER FOR MORE THAN WAYWARD VAGABONDS, DON’T YOU AGREE SANS?” His gravely voice lowered with a chuckle, which Sans smiled gratefully at. “LET US CONTINUE.” 

Though their route was always covered with snow, the increasingly heinous blizzard made it more difficult to pinpoint even the most familiar trails. But the two set off anyway, with Papyrus leading the way. Boss was so cool, bravely taking the front and also shielding Sans from most of the wind. 

The smaller skeleton found himself grinning thoughtfully. They were halfway (maybe?) through their trek when Sans nearly ran into his brother’s legs.

“what’s the holdup?” he yelled over the wind. Boss motioned for him to come forward. Brow ridge furrowing, Sans obeyed. 

The only tracks that should have been present were their own. Yet here, in a blizzard mind you, was a trail leading away from their route and into the forest. “what in the void?”

“MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY.” Papyrus squinted at the trees. “IF WE HURRY THE TRAIL MAY STILL BE PRESENT.”

“wha-but boss!” 

The tall skeleton sped into the trees, branches cracking behind him. Sans ran as fast as he could after him. As much as the snow would allow. Sharp branches caught him and he broke through in frustration. The only thing he could see now was his brother’s red scarf. A stark contrast bright enough to catch as it blew in the wind. 

_Don’t face the danger head-on,_ he wanted to say, _I don’t want you to be alone!_ Angrily picking up his pace, Sans trudged through the ever-deepening snow. Creeping halfway up his tibiae and fibulae, the small skeleton felt a shiver and regretted not adding the lengthening attachments to his zip-up shorts. 

Since he was a good head (two to be precise) shorter than his brother, traversing through the blanketing particles was very arduous. And to top it all off, the shorter skeleton was starting to slow down. In desperate need of a boost, Sans clawed his jacket open and snatched two mustard packets from a hidden inner pocket. 

Ripping through them with sharp teeth, he slurped down the liquid spice. Feeling the food instantly convert into more magic, Sans picked up his pace. He didn’t bother zipping his jacket back up. 

Eventually, gasping and panting, the short skeleton broke into a clearing, and reached his brother. Using his femurs and patellas as support, he gave himself a moment to catch his breath. Papyrus, back hunched, was kneeling over a particular set of prints. Pondering it with tented phalanges.

“SANS,” the tall skeleton directed his attention to the ground as the shorter straightened his posture. “TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE.” Inspecting them with squinted sockets, Sans uttered his thoughts aloud.

“quadruped in nature, so that narrows it down a bit.” The tracks were deep in the snow, leaving a long tear-drop shape. “too small to be any of the other guards.” The dogs had larger, more definitive paw prints. These ones were close, but didn’t match. 

“too big to be that annoying dog.” In fact, the size of the prints themselves made for at least twice that little white dog. “tracks are the wrong shape to be a bunny.” The very beginning of the prints suggested padding. Bunnies didn’t have paw pads. 

Scratching his skull as he inspected them further, Sans lowered his body closer to the ground. The wind was making it hard but he did see something. “claws too. what d’ya think boss?” Papyrus rose slowly, and straightened confidently.

“NOTHING THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS CAN’T SOLVE.” Surveying the scene, he smirked. “I SUSPECT WE WILL ENCOUNTER THEM SOON.” 

Looking around, Sans saw what he meant. There wasn’t just one set of prints. There were many; more than he expected. What in the void was going on? 

Hesitantly following the trails with his eyelights, Sans froze when he heard a noise in the wind. A long shrieking howl. Boss jerked toward it too, stiff with anticipation. Eyelights glowed crimson as he readied his gloved hand to summon a weapon.

Ke-thump. 

Ke-thump. 

Ke-thump.

_Quadruped in nature._

San’s eyelights shrank as they glowed red. Sweat beaded on his skull. The noises drew nearer.

_Too small to be the other guards._

Ke-thump. Ke-thump. Ke-thump.

_Too big to be that annoying dog._

A distant snarl. An enraged bark.

As their silhouettes defined, there was a beat as Sans took a moment to process what these monsters even were. 

_Definitely not a bunny._

His soul quaked in his ribcage.

_And there were many._

Soul pounding, a sense of dread climbed up Sans like choking vines. It was the vorp of his brother’s magic that snapped him out of his descending thoughts. A glowing red bone appeared in front of him. Papyrus stood, back to him, in a protective position.

“STAY CLOSE NOW,” Boss growled. “WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY ARE CAPABLE OF.” Sans nodded stiffly as he wiped his sockets with his sleeve.

“y-yeah boss.” The noises stopped momentarily, and the two skeletons took defensive stances in anticipation. 

They heard shuffling, and heavy breathing, displaced with the wind in front of them. Then, they saw a shape lunge. Papyrus immediately caught it mid-air, gripping its soul with a ding of blue magic. It growled viciously, black mane long and unkempt, sharp teeth strange on the figure, but it was evident what kind of monster this was. A Temmie. 

“Disgusting,” Boss spat, as his grip on its soul tightened. The Tem yelped loudly in response. Sans didn’t have time to be confused. Snarling, and their maned heads rippling in the wind, two more canine monsters appeared. 

Leaping up at him, Sans barely had time to dodge. He heard a strangled yelp as the Tem his brother caught exploded into dust. “DUCK YOU IDIOT!” Sans threw himself to the side as he felt the magic surge from the ground and impale his attackers. Their feral yelps were only a beat away from their dusting. Heavy boots rushed through the snow. 

“GET UP YOU SACK OF SHIT, WE HAVE TO RECOUP.” Red magic glowed fiercely and it took Sans a moment to compose himself. Blinking rapidly, he hoisted himself up and awkwardly stumbled to his brother.

Were they scouts? Did they alert the rest of the group? Where was the rest of them? And what were they doing all the way in Snowdin? Sans had so many questions but now wasn’t the time to ask them. They were being hunted.

Escaping some distance away, the two skeletons stopped a moment. Running this much was a mistake. If Sans had an inkling of where they even were he would have just taken a shortcut. But it was a bit late for that. 

Better to know where he was for sure than getting stuck in a tree. For now, he needed to focus on surviving, and protecting Papyrus.

“think we can take’em boss?” he panted, standing back to back with his brother. Papyrus scoffed.

“ARE YOU AWAKE ENOUGH TO EVEN STAND, WHELP?” The smaller skeleton grinned.

“waddaya take me for? a sack of bones?” Boss sighed, annoyed.

“SOMETIMES SANS THAT’S ALL YOU EVER ARE.” Sans shrugged tiredly. “NOW HURRY,” he frowned, tossing the smaller skeleton a few small, circular constructs. “WE DON’T HAVE TIME TO DALLY.” Eyeing them, the shorter brother blinked before setting them a few feet away from the trees with blue magic.

“can’t argue with that.” The snow began to pick up, and the two waited, their stances ready for another assault. And it wasn’t long til they heard it again. That sudden, high-pitched shriek hung in the air as the snow hinted their numbers. How were there this many out here? Sans couldn’t stop to wonder. 

They came crashing through the trees, some immediately springing the traps the Boss set.

“HOLD YOUR GROUND,” he growled, as more stormed out, circling the two. “DO YOU REMEMBER YOUR TRAINING?” Sans furrowed his brow ridge. Of course he did.

“yeah?” he answered, distractedly. His eyelights glowered intensely as he watched them close in.

“GOOD,” Papyrus grinned sharply. “ABOUT TIME WE TEST IT YEAH?” 

The sharpened bone in his gloved hand rose. Bludgeoning the feral beasts nearest to him, he laughed aloud. “HOW ABOUT WE SHOW THEM WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THEY MESS WITH US?” Sans found himself chuckling despite their situation. Boss was too cool. 

With renewed vigor, the small skeleton knocked some back with blue magic as soon as they came remotely close. They collided with the surrounding trees with a yelp and scurried away.

“whoops,” he shrugged. “better luck next time.” Finishing a swift blow to two more, Papyrus groaned and jerked toward him.

“YOU CAN’T JUST LET THEM LEAVE, SANS! WHAT IF THEY COME BACK FOR REVENGE?” Impaling another with his bones, the taller skeleton huffed. “I WON’T ALWAYS BE AROUND TO SAVE YOUR SORRY ASS.” 

Sans dodged a couple more as they threw themselves at him. Their sharp teeth dripped with saliva and flecks of red speckled their otherwise white souls. What the--? Was that how they were able to live out here for so long? But how did they get here in the first place? 

Sans displaced the air around him as he shortcutted to the ones that got away. They immediately snarled and backed away. Their eyes red with magic and fear.

“sorry pals, but ya know the boss.” His eye-lights flared crimson with a slight lining of yellow. “no survivors unless ordered.” 

With a flick of his wrist sharp bones erupted from the ground and impaled them into what he hoped was a swift death.

Breathing heavily now, Sans felt the sweat roll down his skull. The glow in his eyelights disappeared as he stared at the piles of dust that scattered with the wind. _O h n o ._

His distal phalanges tugged at his collar.

_How many had they dusted?_

_How many were l e f t ?_

His breaths became ragged as he distantly heard more come upon him. Red, sharpened bones erupted in front of and around him as he turned, one shaky palm facing them. Their dust blew with the wind. Sans felt disgusting. He felt his LV rise. His patellas buckled under him. Stumbling, his grip on the collar tightened.

_Sure they were feral, but they were monsters too._

_Did that make much of a difference if it was for defense?_

He winced at the hard smack of bone against bone. The ripping of flesh as protrusions caught them. The howls and cries as they all fell down _o n e b y o n e._

They echoed in his skull. And they became so loud he almost couldn’t hear his thoughts. 

_do it for papyrus,_ he told himself. _do it to protect yourself. do it. **do it. d o i t !**! ___

__His summoned blasters beamed them until they were all engulfed in red._ _

__Their dust piled and mixed with the surrounding snow._ _

__Sans felt sick. His phalanges curled into unsteady fists around the soft leather. Red tears trickled from his sockets. He stood his shaky ground as he blearily stared at the Temmie before him._ _

__“DO IT SANS!” he heard his Boss faintly, but he _c o u l d n ’ t m o v e ._ Sweat and snow left his skull chillingly cold. His eyelights were glowing pin pricks in his sockets. At his hesitation it bounded closer, shrieking a terrible, lonely cry. Teeth bared, and launching itself, the Tem was just mere inches away when a red protrusion caught it through the chest and erupted through its neck. _ _

__Slamming into Sans, the small skeleton was knocked back into the dust-mixed snow. It blew around him. Not even the fresh layer falling could make him feel clean. His eyelights narrowed in horror._ _

___They didn’t have time to cry out in pain._ _ _

__It was everywhere. Resting on his bones, sticking to his teeth. Gently landing on his clothes._ _

__Sans spat and scrambled from it, a shivering mess. Tears were still slipping from his sockets as he hurried to wipe them. If this was a new method of training he never wanted to do it again._ _

__If Paps ever ordered him to he’d refuse._ _

__But would it even matter?_ _

__Heavy boots crunched toward him._ _

__He felt his soul ding softly as his soul became blue._ _

__Lifting him from the ground, Sans became limp. Boss stared at him with hard eyelights. Inspecting his soul, Papyrus gave it a once-over then released it. Sans plopped ungracefully to the ground.__

__  
_ _

__“what the _fuck_ was that for?!” he yelled, betrayed that his brother dropped him like that. But then he felt it before he heard it. That disappointment laced in his words as his brother stared down at him._ _

__“You’ll live,” the taller skeleton gruffed. Turning back, he motioned for the other to follow. “Hurry up, it’s getting dark. It’ll be a while until we find our way home.”__

____  
Staring at his brother’s shrinking silhouette, Sans got up. Brushing snow and remaining dust off his jacket, he gave the scene one last look before finally turning and jogging after Papyrus.  


__They’d have to report their encounter._ _

__He’d have to relive it again._ _

__But afterward he won’t need to think about it ever again._ _

__“hey uh boss,” he sputtered, “we uh don’t _have_ ta walk back.” Papyrus slowed his pace, but didn’t stop. Peering over his shoulder to his underling, he asked,

“AND HOW, PRAY TELL, WOULD WE BE ABLE TO RETURN HOME?” Sans grinned nervously.

“i know a shortcut?” 

__Boss’s face scrunched in disgusted disbelief, and he returned to his previous pace toward their last encounter with the Tems. “no, wait!” Catching his brother’s gloved hand, he tugged himself closer. “i know it’s hard to believe,” he gulped, “but you hafta trust me. please.” Papyrus slowed to a reluctant stop._ _

__“THIS BETTER BE WORTH MY TIME SANS.” The smaller skeleton’s grin widened as he took the taller skeleton’s other hand in his.__

__  
_ _

__“don’t worry boss. it’ll only take a sec.”_ _

__Focusing all his energy on their living room (heh) Sans took a breath as his magic surrounded them. He could feel his brother shift uncomfortably, but he didn’t let it distract him. With a blip the cold dissipated and the warmth of their house surrounded them._ _

__The brothers floated for a bit before Sans’s magic unceremoniously dropped them on their carpeted floor. Papyrus’s face scrunched in momentary confusion before getting up and brushing residual snow off his jacket.

“THAT WAS CERTAINLY...SOMETHING,” he muttered. Sans’s collapsed form lay sprawled on the carpet, clearly exhausted.

“heh. usually it’s just me so,” even lifting up his head was a chore. “that really took a lot outta me.” Winking at his brother, Boss rolled his eyelights, unamused. 

__“WE WILL NEED TO REPORT THIS ENCOUNTER TO UNDYNE,” the tall skeleton affirmed, shrugging off his outerwear. Putting it on a hanger with a protective cloth cover, Papyrus hung his leather piece in the closet.__

____  
Boss was so attentive, taking care of his clothes like that. Watching his brother stride to the kitchen from the floor, Sans found his eyelights flickering. Stars was he tired. Maybe Pap wouldn’t mind if he took a little nap.  


__\--------_ _

__Papyrus scrolled down his contacts until he came upon Undyne’s. What Sans did was unexpected. Why he chose to not inform him of such an ability before was beyond him, but the tall skeleton was sure he had his reasons. No, he’d make sure his secret was safe with him. Too many others would exploit it if he allowed. He couldn’t do that to his brother._ _

__Taking a breath, Papyrus pressed the call button. The encounter with those feral Temmies was troubling. Not to mention he had almost lost his brother. If it weren’t for that split second it took to summon that bone, Sans would have left with more than just trauma-induced scars._ _

__The tall skeleton inhaled shakily at the memory. Stars he looked so small and frightened. And when he froze like that--and that beast clamored to him-- Papyrus quashed those fears the instant he heard a voice on the other line._ _

___“What’s up, Nerd?”_  


“I HAVE A PRESSING MATTER TO REPORT, UNDYNE.”

“Is it the matter of that stick up your skeleton ass?”

“WHAT IN THE VOID UNDYNE, THIS IS IMPORTANT.”

“HAHA Allriiight.” Her cackling laughter echoed off speaker. He frowned, unamused. “We can meet up at my place after this storm’s over, ‘kay Bonehead?”

“SOUNDS GOOD. I’LL SEE YOU TOMORROW THEN.”

“Later Nerd!”

__As her line clicked, Papyrus felt that growing fear engulf him again._ _

__And he had told Sans he wouldn’t be around all the time to save him._ _

__If he hadn’t--if he hadn’t--would he even still be here? Putting his phone down on the kitchen counter, Papyrus strode back to the living room. His rapidly humming soul jumped when he saw Sans’s empty sockets. Quickly kneeling on the floor, he put a temple to his brother’s sternum. His soul’s pace steadied when he heard Sans’s soul pulsing softly._ _

__Just sleeping._ _

__Peacefully._ _

__He exhaled a breath he didn’t know he held, and wiped the tears he didn’t realize welled in his sockets. Sans needed it; a well-deserved nap for their harrowing ordeal. Cradling the smaller skeleton in his arms, Papyrus brought him up the stairs and carefully removing his outer layers before laying him in bed._ _

__Surely The Great and Terrible Papyrus’s framed bed would be more comfortable for his brother than that old mattress. When he moved to release the small skeleton, he found his phalanges hooked on the fabric of his scarf. Whining softly, Sans nuzzled his skull closer to the escaping warmth._ _

__“don’t leave, please,” he pleaded, though Papyrus wasn’t sure if he was half-awake or sleep-talking. Slowly unlatching his brother’s phalanges, he stroked his mandible gently.__

__  
_ _

__“Alright Brother,” he obliged with a loud whisper. Climbing into bed with him, the tall skeleton got comfortable and the small skeleton snuggled close. Putting a protective arm around the skeleton at his side, Papyrus touched his teeth to his brother’s forehead._ _

__“I’ll protect you Sans,” he vowed. “As long as I stand, I promise. You have nothing to fear when you’re with me.” Nuzzling his nasal ridge to Sans’s glabella, the two slept in the comfort of the other’s arms._ _


	2. Brotherly Bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the morning after the encounter. The Fell brothers have a long day ahead of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who don't wish to read smut, it's sectioned off!

Sans awoke to find warm bones around him. Slow breaths tickled his skull as he stared at his wonderful brother. Nuzzling close to the tall skeleton, Sans planted a skeleton kiss on Papyrus’s clavicle. The arms around him drew Sans closer. Stiffening at the sudden display of affection, the older skeleton dared to look at his brother’s for once peaceful face. 

Sighing, he stroked Boss’s brow ridge with his free hand and drew a soft line down his mandible.

“stars the things you do to me bro,” he muttered with false exasperation. With half-lidded sockets, Sans tilted his head slightly and grinned. “but wouldn’t you like to know?” 

His brother’s soul glowed through his undershirt, and the shorter skeleton gazed at it longingly. “should i take you now bro?” he murmured more to himself, “you gonna be my lil slut this morning?” Oh he felt a tingle of magic react to that. 

Stars he shouldn’t be doing this but damn was Pap so adorable. _And so vulnerable._ Sans nearly cursed when he felt his tongue magick into existence. _damnit._ Daring to move, the smaller skeleton untangled himself slowly, in an attempt to leave. Papyrus rolled to his side in response. 

Deciding against it, Sans hugged him from behind. His soul beat in time with Boss’s. Slow and deliberate. It even radiated comfort. Stars, he could just fall asleep all over again. He gave himself a moment to close his sockets, but sleep eluded him. Sans sighed, clutching his brother a little tighter. Stars he didn’t wanna get out of bed. Peeking over his bro’s sleeping form, the shorter skeleton looked out the window. 

It was still snowing. The storm let up a little, but not by much. Wind blew huge flakes as big as Whimsun pellets. And they had to go to Waterfall today. Sans groaned at the thought of walking through all that snow again.

He just wanted to stay home, spend the day with his bro if he could. Not like Boss would let him though. Maybe he’d let him shortcut them instead. Wouldn’t that be nice. Sans hummed in thought. 

He wasn’t sure exactly when they were supposed to meet up with the Captain, but he definitely wasn’t going to wake Papyrus up to ask. After their encounter with those Tems, his brother clearly needed the rest. 

It wasn’t fair that the Royal Guard took up so much of his time and energy. And if Sans knew anything about jobs, his bro needed all the sleep he could get. 

Speaking of jobs, Sans flipped over carefully as he fumbled for his phone. Checking for any messages, the shorter skeleton breathed a sigh of relief when his shift was changed due to the inclement weather. Hopefully it’d give him an excuse to bail out of the meeting. And if not, at least it’d give him time to spend with his brother. Whether it’s in the bed or out.

\------------

Papyrus’s breathing changed as he rolled over. The comfortable darkness threatened to bring him to the waking world once he felt his brother shift away from him. Reaching for him unconsciously, the taller skeleton caught onto Sans’s shirt before feeling a tug. There was a pause before he heard the familiar bass of his voice.

“heh,” he heard his brother chuckle, “i thought you hated it when i stayed in bed for too long.” Releasing a hum of annoyance, Papyrus pulled him closer. Sans offered no resistance.

“I’ll make this an exception,” he muttered, as he covered the shorter skeleton with the blanket. “We don’t have to meet with Undyne until the storm has passed.” 

At this, he saw Sans grin through a slightly opened socket. His carpals held up his mandible as he looked up at the tall skeleton.

“oh good,” he chuckled, “i was hopin’ you’d say that.” Papyrus met his grin with a small smile.

“What did you have in mind?” he asked thoughtfully. His brother’s magic fluttered around them in reply, and his soul emitted a warm, touching glow that made the tall skeleton almost dizzy. “ _...Oh_ ,” he breathed. 

Sans’s wide grin said it all. His gold tooth glistened in the dim light.

“d’ya wanna top or should i?”

_**(Smut starts here, you’ve been warned!)** _

It wasn’t even a real question, and Papyrus knew that. Smirking, he raised a brow ridge at his brother.

“I think the real question is, which one do you deserve?” Sans scoffed playfully as he sat up. Papyrus immediately grabbed him by the humerus and pulled him back down. Sans emitted a low growl as the taller put his full weight over him.

“don’t you even start,” he half-warned, his tone husky. Papyrus found himself tittering. Sans was already rattling in anticipation.

“Or what?” the taller skeleton purred as his tongue came into being. “Do _you_ plan on fucking me first?” 

The shorter skeleton’s sockets narrowed as he stared into his crimson eyelights with a strange intensity that made the tall skeleton’s soul thump against his sternum.

“as a matter of fact,” Sans slowly smirked, “i intend to wreck your ass.” Papyrus raised a brow ridge at the sultry tone.

“Are you certain?” he laughed, feigning confidence, “What if I wreck yours first?”

“you might,” the shorter shrugged, “but when i get my hands on you--” his eyelights glowed softly, enticingly, “oh you’ll _love_ it.” He grinned with a word of confidence, and Papyrus heard a rumble from his chest. “You’ll even beg me for more.” _Oh._ Oh wow. Stars Sans wasn’t always this way. But when he was--he was very alluring. 

Unfortunately for Papyrus, his brother noticed his stare linger longer than it should have. He winked smugly as the tall skeleton felt his blush deepen. Scrambling to hide it, one thought rang through his skull: _That fucking **asshole.**_

“no no,” Sans reached for him with an amused shush, “don’t hide from me.” And with that, he pulled his baby brother into an open-mouthed kiss. 

As their tongues collided and tasted each other, Sans pulled at the hem of Papyrus’s undershirt. Breaking their kiss momentarily, Sans lifted it over his head and hungrily continued. As his older brother ran his tongue over his teeth, Papyrus welcomed it, letting his own tongue explore when there was a chance.

Lapping at his brother’s blunt fangs, the tall skeleton wondered how the tips were more sharp. But then a thought occurred to him: _All the better the hickies would be._ He shivered at the thought. Meanwhile, Sans’s phalanges gently danced around his scapulae and ribs. Magic rubbed them and left them pleasantly sensitive, like a tightness was lifted, leaving Papyrus breathless. 

Stars how was Sans so good at this? Phalanges lightly gripped his floating ribs. And his magic was responding--oh! Their kissing became sloppier by the second. Red and crimson magic stained their maxillae, and saliva ran down the tall skeleton’s cervical vertebrae. 

Down, down went his brother’s tongue as he sucked on the tips, eliciting a gasp and cry from the younger brother. Phalanges teased his newly formed vulva through his boxers.

“you ready bro?” Sans’s tongue descended to his clavicle. “you ready to be my little slut?” 

Papyrus whined audibly and his blush encompassed more than his zygomatic bones.

“no, none of that,” his brother said breathily, commandingly, “no whining.” Gritting his teeth slightly, the younger skeleton pulled off his undergarments so it dangled off one leg. 

A rumbling resounded from Sans’s chest as Papyrus lowered himself onto his brother’s phalanges.

“good boy,” his brother praised. “you know what good boys get?” And it was like there were tongues where his phalanges wriggled. They wet and stretched him and Papyrus cried out from the ministrations.

They lapped at his cervix and one managed to hit his G-spot, even if only for a moment. The tongues didn’t stay in one place very long though. Their intention was to tease, and tease they certainly did. The tall skeleton panted harder with each successful flick and thrust until he was gasping loudly. 

“do you like being a good boy?” Sans hummed into his temporal bone; hot breath making the skeleton under him tremble. Papyrus gasped and moaned a yes. Stars he was so close. “good,” his brother smiled as he suddenly removed the wonderful wetness. Papyrus caught himself whimpering in protest. “ah ah,” Sans hushed, “you get more later. now you have to be a good boy and get me ready.” Almost purposefully slow, he lowered the band of his shorts to reveal the glowing red below his waist. Then he lifted his hips and pulled them off altogether.

The glowing magic struck Papyrus at full force as he desperately crawled to meet it. He stared half-liddedly at the cock presented to him before diving in. “you’re an eager little bitch aren’t you?” his older brother breathed thickly, as Papyrus began lapping at the head. “haa--!! mmm...” Sans rewarded him by stimulating his coccyx.

Moaning, the tall skeleton flattened his tongue in earnest. The licks soon grew to encompass his brother’s length. Deeper and deeper he brought it up and down his magicked throat, until Papyrus felt it moving away. Plunging it in, he took his brother’s full length and lapped at the ecto-flesh beneath. The loud gasp and groans he got out of Sans made him shiver.

His brother clung to him as he began again and with an amazing display of self control, Sans pulled out of him early. With a surprised whine, the younger brother followed the red cock, his tongue reaching to lick it again. Instead, he felt his soul ding blue for a moment as his brother flipped him over. His back lightly thumped against his brother’s ribs. Sans hauled the younger up and maneuvered his cock near the puckered entrance. 

“relax now,” he commanded, teeth teasingly close to his neck; his voice guttural and very very arousing. And as Papyrus guided him into his hole, he couldn’t help crying out as Sans slowly penetrated him. He never could. (Not when it felt so very good.) 

As the shallow thrusts deepened, Sans asked him a question.

“do you like being my butt slut?” Overwhelmed by the stimulation, Papyrus answered with a shaky reply, pitched higher than usual.

“I-I don’t know.” And the reply nearly made him scream. Sans’s pace quickened and all Papyrus could do was clutch the sheets in desperation, loudly groaning the entire time. And his brother soon joined him, with guttural gasps against his cervical vertebrae.

“ _a-ah, you feel so good! ohh **p a p y r u s~**_ ” He felt himself clench tightly around his brother’s cock at the noise. _Oh. Oh Stars._ He rode it out until his brother came.

Pulling out of him this time, Papyrus rolled over and covered his face with a pillow. Damnit Sans was too good at this. He’d definitely need to up his game.

“that wasn’t so bad now, was it?” Sans chuckled after he caught his breath. Papyrus huffed, then sat up.

“Don't be selfish now Brother,” he gruffed as he spread his legs, “you can’t leave me hanging.” Gesturing to his dripping entrance, he rocked side to side teasingly. “Not when I’m this wet for you.” Oh how his brother drooled. His tongue lolled out hungrily as he crawled between his legs. 

“aww, and you were being so patient with me too,” Sans chuckled. A distal phalange ran up and down Pap’s femur, eliciting a shiver. “i suppose you deserve a reward.” At this, the taller skeleton’s brow ridges lowered.

“HEY, WAIT A STARSDAMN MINUTE,” Papyrus roared as he closed his femurs, “I LET YOU HAVE A TURN. YOU NEED TO LET ME HAVE MINE!” With a sudden brisk movement, his older brother caught him by the femurs and forced them open. In a futile attempt to kick him away, Papyrus found Sans’s grip strangely solid. Damnit he shouldn’t be this aroused right now. Fuck. 

The elder’s teeth nibbled on the inner bone of one and Papyrus moaned despite himself as his brother’s tongue lapped at his folds.

“now now, don’t be like that bro,” Sans chided as he licked his maxilla. “ _i_ know you like it.” Snapping his phalanges, a condom surrounded by blue magic appeared in the air between his pointer and thumb.

“I DO,” the flustered younger skeleton reluctantly agreed, “AND I HATE IT.” Sans laughed heartily. 

“don’t worry bro,” he smiled as he ripped the condom open and sheathed it onto his dick. “i’ll let you have your way next time.” As the tall skeleton watched, with anticipation, his eyelights caught his brother’s. 

The elder winked and the taller skeleton looked away, glowering the best he could through his blush.

“YOU B-BETTER,” Papyrus half-stammered, as Sans slowly aligned his cock with his vagina and began thrusting at a fixed pace. “OR I-I’LL HAaaa HAVE TO PUNISH YOU Ahh...APPROPRIATELY.” Sans’s pace steadily quickened and their heavy breaths resounded through the room. The shorter skeleton brought his teeth to his brother’s temporal and huskily whispered. 

“tell me what you’ll do boss. t-tell me how you’ll **punish** me.” Oh, bringing up that card now? Papyrus thought it fit to oblige.

“I-I’ll. Hah, cuff your c-carpals back while I teaaaahhh t-tease t-that hah fine cock of yours. Ohhh...then I’ll. I’ll. have you uugghhh...lick m-me until I’m satisfied.” Oh how Sans whined. He may be in charge now, but Papyrus knew his kinks just as well as he knew his. “You’ll have the c-cock ring on and I’ll. I’ll even take out the nnnnice blindfold.” With how frenzied Sans’s thrusts have become, Papyrus was having trouble verbalizing. 

“more,” his brother demanded, his voice resounding in his skull, “ **more.** ”

“I’ll--I’ll. HAH tell you. How much of a fucking. DOG ugghhh you are. Uhhhnnnable to control his ooohhhwwnnn fucking COCK.” Oh, oh he was so close. Just a little bit more--

“ **yes,** ” Sans was ramming into him now. He must be very close as well. “ _ **y e s.**_ ” Now at a feverish pace, the sweat visible on both skeleton’s bones, the two’s cries loudly reverberated throughout the room as the shorter skeleton pulled out and ejaculated on his brother’s inner femur. Exhausted, he collapsed over the tall skeleton, breathing heavily. 

**_(Smut ends here!)_ **

Papyrus rattled angrily. His bones flushed with rage as he uttered a loud keen of frustration. _HOW. DARE. HE!_

“ _ **YOU. INSOLENT. THRALL!**_ ” Pushing Sans off him, Papyrus rolled to the other side of the bed, taking the blanket with him.

“h-huh?! b-boss?” The shorter skeleton unsteadily sat up beside his brother. “what is it bro?” Papyrus huffed as he jerked to face him, glare intense and glowing crimson.

“YOU FAILED TO PLEASE ME ENOUGH! YOU SELFISHLY LEFT ME AT MY PEAK WHEN I WAS SO CLOSE!!” Hot tears threatened to roll from his sockets but he didn’t care. “You KNOW how long it takes me sometimes!” Papyrus felt his brother’s phalanges brush his. “YOU KNEW AND YOU--” He took a shaky breath. 

The tears fell freely now. Stars this just wasn’t fair. “I...I JUST--” Warm arms engulfed him. And Papyrus rested his chin on his brother’s scapula, hugging him tightly back.

“papyrus i’m so sorry,” Sans quivered. “i didn’t even think about it--i--oh stars.” He took a deep breath. “lemme make it up to you, please.”

“NO,” he interjected, facing him an arm’s length away. “I JUST, PLEASE DON’T DO ANYTHING STUPID. I JUST WANT US TO FIX THIS! IF NOT FIX, THEN ACCOMMODATE!” Papyrus drew his brother closer again and held him. 

“I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO COME _WITH_ YOU SANS. NOT BY MYSELF, NOT WITH JUST A TOY. _WITH YOU._ ” The tall skeleton took a breath and shakily exhaled. 

“then, then next time we’ll plan ahead,” Sans suggested softly, nervously. “it’ll be better,” he promised, “we can get you ready, then it’s smooth sailing from there.” 

Pressing his teeth to his brother’s, he gave him a gentle nudge with his tongue. Papyrus turned away from it. 

“L-later,” the taller skeleton muttered as he searched for a shirt, “I’m not in the mood.” Sans backed off.

“oh. okay.” 

\----------

When Papyrus left the room, Sans covered his sockets with his metacarpals.

“ _stupid, dumb **fuck,**_ ” he swore under his breath. “you **knew**!” he yelled to himself. “you knew, and you messed up!” he felt tears roll down his zygomatics and maxilla. 

“i’m so sorry papyrus,” he cried softly. “i’m sorry.” He didn’t know how to make it any better. It was just how Pap was.

And it didn’t make it any better that orgasms came easy to Sans. They just had to work on it. They both did. Sans made it a personal goal to get his little bro to cum before him. Even if it took them hours. Even if he was drop-dead exhausted. Sans took a slow breath and wiped away the tears.

The pipes echoed slightly as the water in the bathroom turned on. Checking the time on his phone, Sans gritted his teeth. He needed to go to his shift soon. Grabbing a pair of shorts from his pile, he noticed his clothes from yesterday in a neatly folded pile near the wall. 

His jacket was hung up on a hanger in the closet. His shoes right next to the pile. Sans smiled sadly at it. _Papyrus._

Putting the pair of shorts he pulled from his pile back, he put on the clothes from yesterday, idly rubbing his distal phalanges against the soft sweater Papyrus lent him. Not a speck of dust anywhere. Sans sighed in relief. 

After getting dressed, the shorter skeleton slowed as he came to the bathroom. Papyrus must have been done by now.

“bro?” he called as he gave the door a light rap. “i’m going to work now. text me when we’re heading to Undyne’s and i’ll meet ya there.” After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, he heard a muffled reply over the sound of the water. Sans furrowed his brow momentarily, then shrugged. _eh. that’ll do._

Shortcutting to the kitchen, Sans grabbed a fuller bottle of mustard before ‘porting to his first shift of the day: the hotdog stand at Hotland. Or at least, his self-appointed hotdog stand. It was really a sentry station he just decided to sell hotdogs and hotcats from. It gave him shopkeeper immunity when Boss wasn’t around. Sans was just glad that Undyne even allowed it. That is, if she knew about it.

Tiredly, he set up shop. At least he didn’t have to worry about food or breaks. Sans could always nap during the slower hours and leave some hotcats to the side for lunch. (After leaving some of his own pocket gold for the expense.) His inventory was safe for the most part, hidden in a magicked cooler in the recesses of his station. Since he kept them cold, cooking was really no problem. The heat from the lava would steam them if left over a tray of melted snow. And if the water got too hot? He could always boil them.

Sans played with the slightly sticky turtleneck of his lent sweater. Looking back, he probably shouldn’t have worn it here. But even through the heat, Sans didn’t mind. 

Having something of his brother’s was comforting. Even better if it smelled of him. Sometimes Sans imagined Boss were with him, that protective air surrounding him. He’d probably imagine it a bit better if it weren’t so damn hot.

He still tried, really. Only until he got customers, he told himself. Just for a little bit. And they came in a trickling flood: _Boss, with his arm around him. Boss, whispering sweet nothings to his skull and what he was going to do to him when they got home. Boss, speaking with that low, sultry growl that sent shivers up and down his bones. Boss with that temptingly exposed spine. Oh Sans could just lick every single vertebrae until his baby bro was whimpering and begging--_ A sudden sizzling sound, and the skeleton moved with a jerk as a splash of lava landed on his countertop. Stunned, Sans looked down to see a vulkin. One of his regulars.

“The usual!” they squeaked demandingly. In that glob of lava that narrowly singed his sleeve was a gold coin, along with several others. Sans picked them up with blue magic and shook the fresh lava off.

“anything for you sweetheart,” he grinned with a wink. Shit. He was lucky they didn’t catch him in the deeper throes of his fantasy. That would have been _embarrassingly **hot**_. Sans giggled to himself as he gave them their hotdog. 

As they went on their way, Sans was soon solicited by another one of his regulars. The harpy this time. She landed gracefully despite having no wings. 

“hey hon, what’s the news in the other levels?”

“Oh!” she chirped excitedly, “you wouldn’t believe what I heard happened in Floor Three!” Sans let her rant about the latest happenings as he prepared her ‘dog. “...and then!! Oh you wouldn’t--but they!! Covered. Them. All. In webs! And they barely made it out with their lives but--” Presenting her hotdog to her, the harpy paused briefly to grab it with a claw. “Where was I?”

“someone tried to beef with the pastry queen again?” She beamed immediately.

“YES! And oh, she was so mad! They made off with some of her profit--BUT not without losing a limb~” At that, she laughed out loud. “Isn’t that so funny? She must be going soft or something!” Sans shrugged.

“Guess you could say they _slipped right through her fingers._ ” At this, the harpy laughed even harder.

“Hoo hoo! HO! Thanks for the hotdog! I better go now!” Sans waved her off, glad to learn something new even if it was only a rumor. Sitting down with a sigh, Sans leaned back and stared at the roof of his station. It’ll be a while til he saw any more monsters.

Whether it were sweltering heat or extreme cold, he liked his second job. (Second? Fourth? Sixth? It didn’t matter anymore. Juggling multiple tasks was nothing.) Being next to the bridge connecting Waterfall to Hotland, on occasion Sans would get relief from the blistering heat when a light breeze blew in. 

Sometimes, along with it came the Captain. She’d been visiting with The Royal Scientist a lot recently. Though it was mostly Undyne visiting them and not the other way round. Sans never usually saw the enigmatic Royal Scientist save for one occasion. He saw a stout, yellow monster in a lab coat installing a water cooler one day on the other side of the bridge. Sans had never seen someone just wearing a lab coat around, so he figured it was the big RS themself. Besides, there were no other scientists. Not anymore that is.

Sans wasn’t sure if _anyone_ remembered when there was more than one scientist. At least, no one but him. Perhaps the RS did, perhaps they came in a lot later. Either way, Sans knew his jobs couldn’t compare to theirs. 

All alone, in that huge laboratory, with no visitors besides Undyne and the King? They must be so stressed out. Sans’s brow ridges furrowed. He’d hate to have their job. 

But, he could give them some credit. They were the reason why the technology Underground, though decades late by Surface standards, was up-to-date and functioning. Whenever some newer version of garbage floated down from the Surface, they always seemed to improve their technology tenfold. 

The stocky skeleton remembered when flip phones were introduced. And that one time Papyrus built a small house with a bunch of dead brick phones. He had called it his fortress. 

Sans sighed reminiscently. Pap was the cutest baby brother in the Underground. And he still was, according to his big bro. Sans hoped and prayed to the stars in the Surface’s sky that he could make it up him. Taking a deep breath, the skeleton exhaled steadily. Stars he just wanted his baby bro happy. 

He wished it more than their freedom. And, he wished for it more than his own.


	3. Walks Are A Time To Reflect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a long walk to Undyne's. Papyrus takes this time to think. After he jacks off, that is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is more a worldbuilding and character developing chapter. The smut will return, I promise. c:
> 
>  
> 
> If you need a reminder of how Waterfall is laid out, here's [a map!](http://fav.me/d9eq7g3)

He shouldn't have been so hard on him. Papyrus exhaled sharply.

“I mean, it felt really good,” he muttered to himself, as hot water washed over his bones, “but--” A low, frustrated snarl escaped through his teeth. 

Stars he really needed to punch something. Just. _Do. Something!_ To release all that sexual frustration his damn brother inflicted upon him. Like their house needed any _more_ holes in it. 

Sighing, Papyrus touched his clavicle in thought. As his other hand descended down, he slowly proceeded to finger his pubic symphysis. He _really_ wished he didn’t have to, but Sans only managed to leave him insatiable.

_Shouldn’t have had that hissy fit_ , he chided, _you could have been going for round three right now._ No matter though. He will make certain Sans take responsibility later that evening. Furiously fingering himself now, Papyrus imagined his brother on the floor, coccyx toward him, teasingly rolling his hips. 

_Red blush encompassing his bones. Sweat beading on his skull. That deliciously tantalizing glow bulging from his shorts, Sans tempting him with his undulating whines. And his carpals cuffed to his tarsals. Blindfold on, and no gag so he could hear him b e g._ Papyrus felt his tongue loll as he panted. 

“S-sans…” he breathed. “I--hah--want you,” he gasped. “I need you…” _And oh, he could see him now, that desperate face--oh he wanted it so badly too. And he could almost hear him, with that breathy, guttural tone ringing from the deepest part of his throat--_

_“cum for me, bro. please, i need it so bad~”_

“You can have all you want,” he panted, “you can have it all--hah. You fucking whore--”

Then a noise at the door made the tall skeleton freeze.

“bro?” _Fucking **void** , not now!_ But no, the Great and Terrible Papyrus wouldn’t allow his embarrassment to prevent him from relieving himself! His phalanges stroked harder and faster as his brother kept talking. “i’m going to work now. text me when we’re heading to Undyne’s and i’ll meet ya there.” 

Oh Stars that **voice.** That low bass resounding in his skull--how he could hear it **pleading--** _“boss! boss please! quit teasing! i want you in me! all of it! nnnngggghh booosssss!!”_

And oh his tongue would taste every part of him, and how he’d **s q u i r m.** His breaths came in quick gasps as he imagined it-- _his seed spurting in ropes onto his slut of a brother’s bare bones, Sans’s loud cries as he comes as well._

Papyrus wanted it--he so wanted him! It took momentous effort for Papyrus to muffle his cry. But he was glad, oh so glad, that he’d finally got at least one orgasm today. 

He slumped for a moment, glabella against the shower wall as he caught his breath. He’d have to wreck Sans for sure. Drying himself off, the tall skeleton stared hard at his obscured reflection.

“You need to apologize,” he commanded with scorn. Then the image fell away as Papyrus brushed his brow ridge lightly with a distal phalange. “I know,” he answered himself solemnly. 

“I know.”

\---

By the time Papyrus dressed, Sans had gone. However unfortunate the timing, doing it right then as he was leaving would have been...inconvenient at best. Apologizing could wait though. It needed to.

Scanning the fridge, the tall skeleton scowled in annoyance. All they had left were those Stars-damned condiment bottles his brother was fond of. Huffing, Papyrus closed the fridge and checked the cupboards instead. _Of course._

He rolled his eyelights at his findings. Canned food, as per usual. Examining the metal cylinder, Papyrus sighed with relief. At least the contents weren’t threatening to explode from within the metal. Botulism was the least of their worries.

Living out of Surface garbage had its cons. Most of the damned stuff was either broken or expired. More often than not, the only food one could find was either molded, mildewed, or barely recognizable if they weren’t in some kind of container. Some more unsavory than others. 

But when you’re living to survive, there’s no room for pickiness. The skeletons, a step above street vagrants, could afford to be choosy thanks to their current occupations. And for that, Papyrus was thankful. 

The brothers didn’t have to scavenge like the beggar monsters on the streets. They didn’t have to fight to protect their possessions at night. They didn’t have to return home with another welt or wound from the previous day.

They were safe. They had a home. They had each other. 

Their life was better. 

But they couldn’t afford to flaunt it.

 

Being able to shop for food was a luxury homeless monsters would dust for.

Good food, if not covered by grease and glitter, was hard to come by in the Underground. Which was why Papyrus had a dealer; a stingy old turtle named Gerson. 

The brothers knew him first as the Second-in-Command of the Royal Guard, growing up. The Underground’s Home for Wayward Monster Youth assigned them to him, where they observed and aided him as page boys. When they had no one else, he had helped them survive. For a price of course. 

At that point, anything was better than living at UHWMY. 

Most of it resulted in light manual labor, like polishing his secondary weapon, or cleaning his giant hammer. But some of it was a little thing like perfecting a stance, or learning to read Common. The skeleton brothers never went hungry when Gerson was around, and though he kept them at a safe distance at first, he eventually (and unofficially) took them in. 

The turtle may not have been their father, but he was the closest they had to one. And when he was honorably discharged from The Royal Guard, the skeleton brothers stayed with him until they were accepted into the King’s Training Program for Royal Guardsmonsters. 

They had since relocated from Waterfall to Snowdin for their training and Guard duties. But on occasion, Papyrus made an effort to go visit the old turtle. Even if it was under the guise of a mere shopping run. After yesterday’s events, they desperately needed a return to normalcy.

Sawing a can open with a jagged knife, Papyrus drained it over the sink and proceeded to pry the lid further. Beans this time. The longer, green kind; not the one in that weird, chunky paste. 

The skeleton sighed with relief as he grabbed a fork. Any other bean was better than _that_ kind. Papyrus found the pasted beans gritty and tasteless. Those heavily sauced avian wings, on the other hand, had texture. There was always plenty of those.

Leaning with his back against the counter as he ate, the tall skeleton began composing a mental shopping list. Most of what he bought was dependent on what was available of course, but sometimes the inventory brimmed with strange, new ingredients for experimenting. He hoped for the latter. 

Checking out the window, Papyrus watched as flakes lightly drifted in the air. Calmer than the day previous, the tall skeleton smirked with satisfaction. He could wear just his armor today, if he wished. No need to bring out the coat.

Gingerly inspecting the pastel sweater from yesterday, Papyrus opted for a slightly used one instead. If they were going to be fighting again, he’d much prefer his best clothes to be spared the inevitable rip. Carefully slipping the tyrian sweater it over his tank, the tall skeleton searched the closet for his armor.

Most reports were informal; they had to be when the majority of their faction was canine, who (though diligent in keeping their uniforms and armor on,) still managed to get...distracted on their way there. But Papyrus thought it best to wear his chestpiece and pauldron anyway. Appearances were everything, after all. Monsters needed to know he meant business.

Neatly tossing his scarf over the soldered metal, the skeleton put on his gloves and met the new day with a run.

\------

Boots leaving a light trail of snow behind him, the tall skeleton set off for Waterfall. As he ran, Papyrus thought of his earlier actions. For reacting so strongly to his brother’s mistake, for yelling at him. His brow ridge furrowed as he slowed slightly. 

In the heat of the moment, Sans most likely...just forgot. His brother did many a task along with his many jobs, and on occasion he’d forget things. Some niggling, other not so much. But even through all his responsibilities, Sans made himself available whenever Papyrus needed him. His jog became a striding walk.

Sans did so much for him yet Papyrus didn’t know why. Sometimes it was excessive; like when he spent hours, days even, scavenging for materials when Papyrus mentioned he needed armor. They had taken it to Gerson’s for advice on how to shape and solder it into a masterpiece.  
Papyrus touched his breastplate lightly. Sans was so proud. _They_ were so proud at the final product. The tall skeleton allowed himself a small smile at the memory. 

His brother had gone around and bragged about how cool Papyrus had looked to other monsters he'd meet. Even strangers. The tall skeleton had posed dramatically when asked. Sans always was the first to praise him, to provide him with time, and validation.

When it came to personal secrets though, Sans was notoriously terrible at sharing. Like how he could teleport. Now that he knew of it, Papyrus could think of many ways it could be of use. But _only_ if Sans was willing. 

The tall skeleton wondered if that was how his brother managed to be everywhere at once. It would explain how he could handle so many jobs at once, why he was tired all the time. 

Papyrus berated himself for not figuring it out sooner. He needed to stop scolding him for sleeping so much if that were the case. The oldest habits are the most difficult to destroy however. The tall skeleton wondered when it’d be considered normal to not wake him with a yell.

\----

When the snow-covered ground became replaced by cave floor, Papyrus took a moment to let his eyelights adjust. Being lit mostly by crystals and the occasional glowing flora, Waterfall was the darkest area in the Underground. An ideal spot for ambushes. Papyrus needed to be watchful. 

He inwardly wished Sans were with him. Trusting others outside of one’s immediate circle was difficult. Betrayals were rampant, as were petty liars and thieves. He passed an empty sentry station and its accompanying echo flower. Eyeing it suspiciously, Papyrus continued on his way.

Sure-footedly dodging falling rocks from the small waterfall, the tall skeleton kept his guard up. Ahead he saw a large patch of tall grass. Undyne mentioned once she wanted that said specimen to be left untouched. Something about helping the Royal Scientist with an experiment. Whatever the reason, Papyrus chose to abide by her wishes.

Giving himself a running start, the skeleton leaped over it easily, and did the same for the flowered bridges. One monster had thought it tactfully funny once to leave a claw trap in one of the petals. He was (un)fortunate enough to observe a monster completely losing a toe to it. Papyrus wasn’t taking any chances. 

More echo flowers greeted him in the next room. And among them stood the telescope Sans used to take him to when they still lived with Gerson. The two of them had fun finding shapes in the glowing crystals on the ceiling until there weren’t anymore to find.

Papyrus sighed quietly as he reminisced. The flower closest to him echoed it. Then the rest followed until the room filled with sighing. The skeletal guardsmonster stiffly jerked away from them.  
He had forgotten how dangerous they were. How they betray even the most carefully thought out positions. How easily a monster could dust by their meddlesome whispers.

Spine stiff, the skeleton proceeded to the plank bridges. When not splintered and in need of repair, the bridges weren’t all bad. They kept monsters above the wet and sometimes led to a difficult maze puzzle. Why a maze in the middle of a series of bridges, the skeleton had no idea. 

Perhaps Undyne ordered it, since she led the Waterfall Division of the Guard. To keep it amusing. But if so, the tall skeleton couldn’t imagine getting monsters to rebuild the bridges every time it was solved.  
Waterfall wasn’t Hotland, plus the resources could be used to repair existing structures. Either way, the bridges never strayed far from their tragic history on the cave walls. How Monsters lost against the Humans. And how they were biding their time until they would be freed. 

Papyrus liked to believe one day they’d all walk the Surface. But today was not that day. Not until a Human arrived. And there hadn’t been another Human in a long time.

The skeleton’s thoughts wandered to why the monsters in the Capital made a big deal about gaining another Human Soul when living day to day was hard enough. He had to admit, the prospect of seeing a real Human was exciting. A change of pace, yes, but the skeleton had preceding orders to subdue them should any arrive. He hoped his training didn’t go to waste.

 

When the walkway led to another large patch of grass, Papyrus expelled a sigh of relief. Almost there.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans gives a colleague relationship advice. Papyrus gets a ride from the strongest of small birds. The Fell bros make up. (Though unfortunately don't make _out_.) And we finally get to meet Undyne!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your patience! I didn't mean for this chapter to take so long, but in addition to my writing my oneshot for Undertail FanFiction Contest, it kept growing in length. ^^;
> 
> So! Instead of a 20+ paged chapter, here's a shorter 18 pages. c: 
> 
> It's conversation heavy, just to warn you!

It was nearing in the end of the shorter skeleton’s shift when he received a text. Glancing over at his phone, Sans produced the last of his hot dogs to his final customer of the day. Winking, he took their gold. 

The tsunderplane took their food and huffed. Flying away with their nose to the hot air, the tsunderplane’s engine intake whirred through the ‘dog with a minor squelch. The gold-toothed skeleton chuckled with amusement.

They wouldn’t get very far in a relationship acting like that. But still, they were a looker if you appreciated their metal form.

Putting away his supplies for the day, Sans sighed with satisfaction and relief. It had been a good day, overall. An overenthusiastic Pyrope may have almost burned down his stand in an attempt to make their ‘dogs cook faster, but it was still better than most. When you’re at the foot of a bridge next to boiling hot lava, there’s gonna be environmental damage.

Opening up a shortcut over his kitchen sink, Sans gently tossed in the empty metal pan. 

He could recount numerous times he had almost gotten splashed by the occasionally large heat bubble, and there was that one time he nearly fell off one of the conveyor belts when it was at maxed speed. _While dodging the lasers._ Never again would he take a dare from Petard and Rowney. The black smoke monster and purple-suited dragon grew up to be giant assholes. It was a wonder Top-Heavy Todd tolerated them.

At least after that incident he understood why his brother despised Hotland. Papyrus was into the more _traditional_ methods of dangerously strategic puzzles. 

Having witnessed them first hand, Hotland’s methods were much too extreme, and lacked that certain touch that gave each lovingly crafted puzzle their personality. 

And as his brother would argue: the excess machinery made for more maintenance, and if not routinely checked, leaks. Not to mention the possibility of faulty wiring, worn belts, and misaligned axles. With all the mechanisms being above literal lava, it’d take a dedicated team to make certain all the gears and circuitry worked correctly. Delivering ice via the river was only a temporary solution, and never should have been used as the sole method of maintaining The Core’s temperature.

But with how often the executives rearranged the steam-powered pads, and conveyor belts, it was no surprise they hired cheap labor off the streets. Seasoned engineers could get the job done no problem, but the grunts were what really made the job interesting. At least, for the higher-ups.

So the location itself was a sore subject, save for one thing: a certain four-armed robotic celebrity. 

If Hotland had anything even remotely interesting to offer the tall skeleton, it was Mettaton. 

A rising star at the appointing of the new Royal Scientist, they had since influenced monster culture; one being a new age of entertainment. Another being the robot’s horrifically expensive fashion line. 

Oh, the lanky skeleton gushed about Mettaton’s purchasable collection of spiked footwear, and how one day he’d commission a pair of weaponized boots to “Strike TERROR into the souls of even the most Despicable of Monsters!” (To which Sans answered, “if they’re both practical _and_ multipurpose, why not?”) 

Neither brother bothered to question why a robot that got around on one wheel decided to have a line of shoes, but hey--it brought more revenue didn’t it? Just made for more G circulating throughout the Underground. (At least for those that had the money.)

To Papyrus, Mettaton was, and still is, a real _hot_ topic. Sans couldn’t fathom it, but that four-armed box-on-a-wheel made his bro happy, so he just let it be. 

It didn’t stop him from complaining about it if Paps blabbed too much about them though.

Since their rise to stardom, it hadn’t taken long for most of the Underground to get in on the newest trends set by the metallic celebrity. Heck, there were two main ways to dress after Mettaton. Grungy homeless and lots of pairings of black and red. Spiky jewelry was encouraged too, for that fierce look when most monsters didn’t seem threatening enough. 

Sans didn’t mind it, he wore red before it became popular. The collar was just an added bonus. Papyrus too, had many a garment that was already in fashion, though the only thing he was missing was the one thing Mettaton had an excess of.

Elbow length gloves. 

Now, it was only practical for a skinless monster like him to have some kind of hand covering. Though, in all honesty, it was more to look great more than anything. Out of all their accessories, Papyrus had wanted gloves like Mettaton’s because they were more affordable than everything else the robot offered. Oh he pestered Sans about them--how they’d complete his lackluster look! How they were _essential_ to his goal of not just looking cool, but _being_ cool!

And Sans relented, only because he knew he could either _find_ a cheaper alternative, or _make_ what Paps wanted. Stars, Sans needed no other reason to break out the old sewing machine. He didn’t keep piles of discarded clothing and newspaper in his room for nothing.

And he certainly wasted no opportunity to hone his sewing skills. 

That is, when he wasn’t scavenging or working.

If getting to the Dump from Snowdin was a big enough trek when he was low on magic, getting to Hotland was _arduous._

With New Home being flush with monster citizens, all available public transport was usually crowded. And come the live-recorded feed of Mettaton’s multiple screenings, that same number was more than eager to reserve seats. That left...unconventional methods for the rest of the Underground. 

Flying was the most chosen over the convoluted conveyor belt method, as was booking a line with an accommodating fish if the River Person was carrying too many passengers. Neither of these were very useful to the taller skeleton brother.

Unlike Sans, who could just shortcut there, Boss had to either briskly walk (more like run) or take the River Person’s boat (which more often than not, didn’t leave enough room to stretch his long legs.) 

And it wasn’t like the shorter skeleton didn’t enjoy a long walk out of doors with his brother; it was that most monsters who noticed the small, glitzy things were most likely to try something. 

Tickets to see the four-armed robot live were expensive. Almost a week’s worth in gold. Just _for one._ And if some monster were to obtain one--if it wasn’t to attend the show themselves, it’d be to sell, gamble, or trade the ticket to pay for unstable commodities like food, or more unhealthier habits.

Sans would still shell out the dough for his baby bro if he asked. He would give him the sky if he could. But he would never allow him to go see the robot unsupervised. Not alone, where he could be taken advantage of. Not where he may let down his guard where he’s just another admirer to an idol. Another pixel on the robot’s screened face.

The possibility of Mettaton being an ass was the worst. The last thing his bro needed was an idol that didn’t care a lick about his efforts.

Sighing, the skeleton scratched at his brow ridge and sat down heavily. The wood chair complained at the sudden weight, but gave no indication of splintering. Good thing magic skeletons were light. 

Leaning forward, Sans buried his face in his sleeves and huffed.

If there was one good thing about Hotland, it was that business was steady. Almost at a stagnant steady. Thus far, it was the only place Sans had frequent customers. So long as he stayed clear of the patrols, the skeleton was fine.

No other guards besides him were stationed at the lower levels. He had made sure of that when he signed up for the position, after all. Normally though, there were two guards per level, one for each side of the elevators. That didn’t stop the pairs from patrolling together. In fact, as far as Sans knew, they _always_ patrolled together. 

It made it both a blessing a curse should they visit Level One when he’d be in the full swing of selling.

Inwardly, Sans wished he could put up shop closer to home. That way he wouldn’t have to expend so much idle magic on the cooler. Meant less naps, but it also meant more that energy could be used elsewhere.

Tidying up maybe, or procuring better ingredients. Perhaps even get a business license to get a real stand--not just some hole-in-the-wall, word-of-mouth bullshit.

Leaning back on his chair, Sans crossed his legs onto the countertop.

He had enough time for a short nap before he had to meet up with Papyrus and the Captain. Might as well make it count. 

Sockets just about closed, the skeleton jolted when a loud noise interrupted his attempt to nap.

“ _Bro_ , it’s the SD’s Sans!” Quirking his brow, the skeleton looked over at his mention. Glad he had no incriminating evidence of his food-selling, Sans’s eyelights lit up, if but a little tiredly.

“oh, wass’up Uno?” The armored rabbit-eared guardsmonster strode over to his station.

“Thought I’d like, never see your boney butt around these parts!” Sans grinned.

“well ya know me, i can be everywhere and nowhere.” Uno laughed. “so what brings you to Level One?” the skeleton asked. The rabbit guard’s station was up at Level Two. Unless given orders, he didn’t usually come down here, let alone visit Sans.

The laughter gave way to an immediate pause, as the rabbit guard’s gauntleted paws lifted sheepishly.

 

“Oh uh--I was looking for...you?” 

“okay?” The skeleton uncrossed his legs and eyed the rabbit through the grates on his helmet. Carefully manipulating his chair with a flick of blue magic, the skeleton planted its wood feet on the ground. 

“did you...wanna talk about something?” The tall guardsmonster shifted around.

“Like, dude--I have uh. A _proposition_ for ya.” Sans’s brow ridge lifted.

“oh?” A favor. Uno didn’t _usually_ call those in. Must be important.

“Yeah uh. Y’know Duke? M’partner?” Sans chuckled to himself.

“y’mean deux?” he asked, eyelight flickering with amusement. “what about’im?”

Not bothering to correct him, the armored rabbit continued.

“I uh...y’know how your bro and you are like, uh--” The guard began hopping, his armor clunking. “ _comfortable_ around each other?”

“ya mean how we talk?” Sans’s eyelight smoked coquettishly now. “or how we _flirt?_ ”

“FLIRT YEAH THAT’S THE WORD,” Uno answered, a little too loudly. Leg apprehensively thumping against the ground, the rabbit guard scratched at the back of his neck in a self-conscious manner.

“Anyway, bro. You’re the SD to my HD. My SD bro. My Snow Bro. So I’d like any advice dude.” If he didn’t know any better, the skeleton could hear an anxious smile crack from beneath that helmet. “I’d totes appreciate it, bro.” 

After a moment of thought, Sans chuckled and shrugged. Stars, Uno was too cute.

“why not?” he smiled, “what’s it ya need?” Restless leg suddenly springing him into the air, the rabbit reeled himself back before he could collide with Sans’ station. Clutching at his chest, Uno faced the skeleton, expelling a breath with relief.

“OH. MY STARS BRO. _Thank_ you,” he gasped gratefully. Giving himself a little bit to compose, Uno stood, and lifted his helmet slightly. “Wow, Stars I might’ve almost gave myself heatstroke. D’ya have anything for that?”

“hm? oh. gimme a sec.” Rummaging through his magicked cooler, Sans produced a bisicle. “dunno how long it’d last out here, but here ya go.”

“No worries bro,” Uno smiled, taking the offered treat, “I totes appreciate Snowdin specialties. Miss’em sometimes, y’know?”

Sans thought about what to ask while the rabbit guard bit through the bisicle vigorously. The rabbit nursed his head a moment before slurping up the now-unisicle. In hindsight, Sans could have just gotten him a drink from the water cooler across the bridge, but hey. Who’d wanna get up and do that?

“i’d just say go talk to him,” he began, “but if you’re nervous about how he’ll react, then start slow.”

“Dude, he’s like, _so cool_ , though!” Uno lamented, chewing on the bisicle’s sticks. “The chillest of bros! I wouldn’t want him to think I’m lame!”

“uno, c’mon. how long have ya known the guy?”

“Since we started the RGP?” Sans sighed. 

He didn’t think too much of the rabbit’s nervousness. By the Void, he felt the same way when he first recognized his feelings for _his_ bro. All Sans could suggest really, was time.

“look dude. before you can be more than assigned partners, ya gotta be friends. that way you’ll know if this is more than just some crush.” The rabbit nearly poked splinters into his tongue when he bit the wood sticks in half.

“But like, how do I do that if I’m afraid to talk to him?” he asked, tossing the broken pieces of wood over the bridge. Shrugging, the skeleton opted for a more lighthearted answer.

“if yer really stuck, there’s no shame in asking about the weather.” Sans joked, as he watched the lava sizzle below.

“ _But it’s always hot in Hotland, bro!_ ” Uno cried out. The skeletal monster furrowed his brow with mock seriousness.

“y’can’t start flirting if you can’t hold a decent conversation, buddy.”

Not like Sans didn’t flirt all the time with Paps. It was for fun really. And the most during the more inappropriate occasions.

“But what if that’s _all_ I can do?” Stars, the rabbit reminded him of his younger self.

“buddy, pal,” Sans said, reaching over to give Uno a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “ya never know if ya don’t start somewhere.” The royal guard-rabbit sighed.

“Alright bro,” he smiled through his helmet, feigning confidence, “I’ll do my best.”

“atta boy,” Sans grinned, punching him lightly on the arm-or. (heh.)

It was here that the skeleton’s cellphone rang. 

“Whoops. You should take that, bro,” the rabbit guards-monster chuckled, “it’s probs your bro.”

“y’know what?” Sans smiled without looking at the screen, “it probably is.”

“I’ll catch ya later, yeah?” Uno called out, hopping backwards while finger-gunning the skeleton. 

“yeah,” Sans responded with a grin, “see ya ‘round!” 

 

And once the guards-rabbit was out of earshot, the gold-toothed skeleton answered his phone with a flick of a phalange.

“talk dirty to me,” he purred huskily.

“NOT NOW SANS,” Papyrus quickly responded. “THIS IS A MATTER OF EXTREME IMPORTANCE.” Sans could still imagine a blush over his brother’s zygomatic processes, threatening to blow his cover.

“oh?” he asked with a low chuckle, “and what might be more important than flirting with my cute baby bro?”

“IT IS A MATTER OF THIS TINY BIRD, SANS,” Papyrus declared. “IT IS PREVENTING THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS FROM LEAPING ACROSS THIS EASILY JUMPABLE GAP.” Sans squinted with confusion. 

“what, ya scared of crushing them, boss?” he asked, flirtatious tone disappointingly held off.

“ _NO_ , THEY REFUSE TO MOVE OUT OF MY WAY! THEY KEEP FLITTING ABOUT AROUND MY SHOULDER, BUT THEY DON'T LAND. THIS TINY BIRD SHOWS MUCH RESOLVE AGAINST THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS!” 

The cogs churned in the stout skeleton’s skull until it finally clicked.

“boss, boss--” he quickly asked, “they’re a yellow one right? bout the size a’ your skull?”

“YES, YOUR VAGUE DESCRIPTION IS FAIRLY ACCURATE,” Papyrus scoffed over the phone, “WHAT OF IT?”

“that’s the bird who wanted to join the rgp, but undyne said they needed to be stronger first. so they up and decided to carry any monster across that gap as a form of training.”

A moment of silence, and Sans almost felt a snicker through his teeth.

“YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS,” Papyrus deadpanned.

“nah bro,” he responded, “i’m sans.” A loud groan on the other end left the gold-toothed skeleton with a fit of giggles.

“YOU HAVEN’T BEEN HANGING AROUND THAT BRUNO GUY AGAIN, HAVE YOU?” Papyrus queried with mock suspicion.

“what makes ya say that bro?” he asked, snickers subsiding. 

“YOU EXHIBIT A STRANGE LILT AFTER YOU SPEAK WITH HIM,” his brother explained, “FRANKLY IT IS UNLIKE YOU AND VERY ANNOYING.”

Oh. Well Stars. He forgot Paps noticed those kinds of things.

“b-but anyway boss,” Sans continued, diverting to the original subject, “you should give that lil bird a shot. let’em do it so they can prove themselves.” 

There was a momentary silence as his bro, what Sans guessed, gave the small bird a once over.

“ALRIGHT BRAVE, TINY BIRD,” announced the tall skeleton, “SHOW THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS WHAT YOU ARE TRULY CAPABLE OF!”

Sans could have sworn he heard a determined peep on the other end of the line, so he figured he’d pop over there too.

“hey boss i'm gonna head over there now, ‘kay?” And without waiting for a response, the stocky skeleton teleported to the spot the yellow bird usually waited.

At this point, he had to keep himself from laughing with amusement as the bird dutifully lifted his tall brother inches off the ground. Their claws tightly pinched at the fabric of Papyrus’ purple sweater as they carried him slowly over the water. 

Sans grinned as he sat and waited for his brother to make it to the other side. Stars this was adorable. Paps was wearing the armor they made together. 

Thinking back, it took days to scavenge up all that usable metal, and scraps of leather. Of course, not every piece he found was spotless or dent-free, so he had to improvise. The effort wasn’t wasted however, because Gerson, with his connections to the Royal Guard; was able to provide them access to a workbench. Since neither brother truly knew how to work the forge, they used the next best technique.

Layers of cut, steel sheet metal, with dents hammered out best they could, were soldered together to create an armor thick enough to protect his brother’s ribs from harm. 

Unfortunately, they didn’t have enough to do more than a simple, sharp pauldron as an embellishment, but Papyrus had loved it either way. To have a chest-piece such like that was a luxury only Capital dwellers could afford. And all it had taken was stubborn dedication and time.

To his credit, Sans never wanted to put that much effort in anything again. Not unless it brought that happy glow out of his bro. And as he watched his brother fly closer, the skeleton’s eyelights dimmed slightly with realization.

Stars did he need to remedy his mistake earlier that day. His thoughts rifled through all the possibilities and scenarios that could occur, but none seemed right, let alone accurate. 

So, what was he gonna say? What was he gonna do? When Boss got all stressed he’d lash out, but oh Stars he didn’t give Sans the cold shoulder unless it was serious. Sans wasn’t sure if leaving to work so quickly was a good option, but if his bro needed time, so did he. 

And then a thought bubbled and burst in the back of his head.

Stupid, _dumb, **fuck.**_

The thought drowned out the voice that quietly insisted Papyrus loved him. Louder than he would have liked, it rang in his skull mockingly--a cacophony of negativity.

It wasn’t until the stocky skeleton heard boots lightly shift the grass that he stopped berating himself. Gazing up at his brother, the thoughts quieted, and Sans felt his soul swell.

Papyrus, standing tall and proud, smirked down at him. The little bird peeped triumphantly as they released their hold on the lanky skeleton’s sweater. 

“IF MY POSITION WERE OF HIGHER STANDING,” he addressed the small avian monster respectfully, “I WOULD PETITION FOR YOUR ACCEPTANCE INTO OUR PROGRAM. ALAS, ALL I AM ALLOWED IS A RECOMMENDATION. PRAY TELL, NOBLE BIRD, WHAT IS YOUR NAME?”

The yellow bird peeped in response. Dumbfounded, Papyrus wrinkled a brow ridge as he lowered himself to their level.

“I BEG YOUR PARDON?”

“let’s just call’em sb,” said Sans, rising from his seated position.

“FOR WHAT?” his brother inquired.

“small bird,” the shorter skeleton shrugged. “dunno. what about little yellow?”

“NICKNAMES WILL ONLY CONFUSE THEM, SANS,” the taller brother protested, “LOOK AT THEM. BARELY ALLOWED FUNCTIONING SPEECH DUE TO THEIR UNFORTUNATE SIZE.”

“boss, stop that,” Sans shushed him. “y’don’t need to tell’em what they already know.” The tall skeleton brother huffed in mock annoyance as he straightened and turned to keep watch. Sans smiled to himself when he noticed the gesture. 

Boss felt the need to protect him all the time, which would have been cute if it wasn’t a necessity. Having low HP usually attract monsters looking for easy pickings. With how intently he stood, Sans hoped that meant he wasn’t still upset. Bending down to introduce himself, the stocky skeleton offered a phalange to the bird.

“name’s sans,” he smiled, as the bird touched a feather to the bone. “sans the skeleton. thanks for taking care of my boss. he can be quite the burden am i right?” The corners of the small bird’s beak curved into a smile. Sans could swear the peeps afterward sounded like laughter.

“heh. hard to find a good monster like you still around,” he grinned. “glad you’re here little dude. glad you’re keeping on.” At the praise, the small bird beat their wings and puffed their chest, thin talons bouncing on the dark grass.

“haha. yeah, you’re a strong monster!” the amused skeleton agreed, “don’t let anyone tell ya different.”

“ARE YOU ABOUT FINISHED?” Papyrus asked, glancing at the two from over his shoulder, “WE HAVE DAWDLED LONG ENOUGH.”

“yeah, yeah, whatever ya say boss,” Sans chuckled lightheartedly.

 

Waving goodbye to the feathered monster, the brothers set off to their destination. Near the corner Shyren panhandled for gold, Boss broke the comfortable silence.

“SANS I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU FEEL THE NEED TO DO MORE THAN YOU SHOULD,” the tall skeleton said, peering at Sans with deft eyelights.

“dunno what ya mean boss,” he smiled tiredly. Stars Sans wished he had taken that nap. Today was quite eventful as is.

Another moment and the two lapsed into silence once more.

“THERE IS, AH…” Papyrus paused to collect his thoughts. “A MATTER I WISH TO DISCUSS WITH YOU FURTHER,” he continued. “IF YOU WILL ALLOW IT.”

Oh. Paps wasn’t too secretive when he had something in his skull. Normally he’d tell Sans outright. What made this time any different?

“whatever it is, it can wait right?” he asked. Boss shifted as he walked. His strides seemed less long and surefooted.

“I AM NOT POSITIVE IF IT CAN,” he replied, almost nervously, and gradually halted as he spoke. “I HAVE BEEN REHEARSING IN MY HEAD HOW I WOULD GO ABOUT DISCUSSING IT WITH YOU BUT...IT APPEARS I AM NOT AS READY AS I THINK.”

Sans stopped and faced his brother. Red eyelights trembled as they locked with his.

 

“what is it?” he asked quietly. “is it about this morning?” Oh Stars, he wasn’t ready to talk about it yet. His soul sank as his bro’s demeanor changed.

Papyrus turned away slightly and nodded. Surveying the area for a moment, the armored skeleton uttered his reply.

“I have been-- _unfair_ to you,” he confessed. “I was frustrated and it subsequently clouded my better judgement. So, it wasn’t your fault, Sans.”

Biting back a retort, the stout skeleton swallowed. This wasn’t the time to argue.

“bro, y’don’t need ta apologize. it was me who messed up. it’s me who needs to make it up to ya.”

“No,” Papyrus insisted. Taking Sans’s bare phalanges in his gloved ones, he squeezed them tightly. “You must understand my feelings. I have not been…open. And _honest_ as of late. With them, and with you. So, if you will allow it, can we try it again?”

“when’s...a good time?” the elder skeleton sibling asked hesitantly. Papyrus thought a moment.

“Perhaps when we return home,” he suggested. “after the meeting.” Sans smiled elatedly.

“this time, we’re going about it right,” he winked.

“As much as I’d love to take you up on the offer, Brother,” he smirked salaciously, “I’d rather we wait until we have more...privacy.” 

Sans laughed aloud.

“fine boss, you win.”

\-------

The walk to Undyne’s was met with no further issues, and the echoed padding of their steps was only interrupted by the sound of stifled laughter.

“--and i kept tellin’em, 'the dogs’ll be out, just give’em another minute.' but man that little thing coiled up and shot up the temp like a furnace, and stars was it hot as is--” 

“Did you inform them that there is a difference in standard between thoroughly cooked and undercooked hotdogs?”

“well no, but once they started smelling like another fire, i knew they _had_ ta stop.”

“So what did you do?” Papyrus smirked, as if to conceal a knowing smile.

“what else was i supposed ta do? i tore’em outta the pan, an’ slapped’em onta some buns and called it good.” Making a revolted face, Sans lamented as he recounted the event. 

“was an embarrassment of how they normally look yeah? _practically charred,_ meat’s all split, and not a condiment in the underground could save the flavor.” Throwing his hands up dramatically, he faced his bro. “but cha know what?”

“What?” the taller brother put a hand to his chin, eager to hear the end.

“ _they. just. took’em._ 'Perfect!'” mimicking the nasally voice of his customer, Sans narrated their conversation. “'This was exactly what I wanted!' _voidshit!_ i said, 'buddy if ya like yer dogs burned to a crisp, ya gotta find yerself another hotdog stand becuz i ain’t gonna serve any other customer a dog like yers.'”

“And what happened?” Papyrus asked, sensing there was more to the story.

“and they just--gathered’em all up-- _an entire pan’s worth,_ mind’ya. and gave me more g fer the trouble. scoffed at me like ‘m some lowlife begging fer it yeah? and their voice goes all low like those back-alley new home dealers. 

'Ya know very well you’re the _only_ hotdog stand around, and _buddy_ \--you know I’ll be back.' and they just smile, and _hop away._ no condiments on’em neither. just plain, burned dogs on plain ass buns. shoulda asked if they wanted that bread toasted too,” he chuckled shortly, “i mean, they’re a pyrope so i’s can understand why they’d want it that way-- _but still._ ”

Papyrus patted his back as Sans slumped forward.

“ _was such a waste a good ‘dogs!_ ”

“Not everyone appreciates the work of a food salesman,” he agreed. 

“not even a starsdamned thank you,” Sans muttered crossly. Sighing, he straightened up, and stretched out a kink from his back. 

“anyway, cuz of that, i was low on stock, so i had to scrounge up more dogs from the deep freezer. last customer wasn’t too happy wid the wait though. gave me a steel shoulder tha whole time.” Smiling to himself briefly, the stocky skeleton expelled a long sigh. “the things i do to do what i love.” Putting an arm around the now slouching skeleton, Papyrus smiled.

“At least when you are stable, you won’t have to tolerate such jack-asses.” Sans shook his head solemnly.

“believe me, i’m the most stable i ever been. food sales are just wrought with unhappy monsters pap,” he flatly stated. “lookit wells. nice scream ain’t exactly a hit wid the snowdin crowd. and until he gets his business off and inta the stars, he ain’t goin’ nowhere.”

“Has he attempted to sell his goods elsewhere? He’d find the best opportunities where he’ll be most received if he can find the right type of consumers.” 

“d’ya think he got the g for that?” Sans scoffed, “he ain’t got enough ta fix that squeak in the left wheel. ‘sides, muffet would flip her shit if he went anywhere _close_ ta those plush purple carpets near her shop. y’know how competitive she is.” Papyrus crossed his arms and stood his ground. Unconsciously, his brother followed suit. 

“And I thought you a highly opportunistic businessman, Sans,” he chided with mock offense. “If you help get him on his feet, you both could have a good partnership. And you can advertise each other, perhaps even have special deals for those who frequent your stands.”

“whoa whoa whoa,” open hands batted at the advice. “where’s all this coming from? _business ventures ain’t my thing pap._ ”

“Perhaps not, but there is no success without risk,” the tall brother affirmed. “If the programs I’ve been watching are indeed correct, all you really have to do is try.” 

Unconvinced sockets narrowed at the thought. 

“The only thing you’d be losing is time,” Papyrus reasoned. “With how regular your customers are, you’re less likely to lose them if they are as loyal as you say.” The shorter of the two scratched at the back of his skull. 

“look, i dunno’em that well. what if they’re not interested? what if we go downhill before we even start?” Brow ridges knitting, Sans set his teeth in a tight line. “‘m not even supposed ta even be _doin’_ this, boss,” he hissed warily, “if undyne finds out--she’s gonna be so pissed.”

“Sans,” Boss’s voice lowered so only he would hear. “If you were to succeed, you wouldn’t even _need_ to be afraid of Undyne. Because by then you’d be in the books. A serious brick-and-mortar establishment. Even if only in cart form.” Allowing himself a hopeful smile at the thought, the shorter skeleton considered the possibilities.

“okay, _maybe_ it’s a good idea,” Sans conceded, “but i don’t wanna get in trouble if we get big.” 

“That’s why if you do, I’ll make certain of it.” The unmistakable disbelief in Sans’ sockets met his brother’s sincere eyelights. 

“you’d do that?”

“I give you my word,” Papyrus smiled, “as a future lieutenant of the Royal Guard Program, you will find sanctuary in me.” The biggest grin overtook the shorter skeleton’s face as he leaped into his brother’s chestplate. Catching him with long arms, Pap nuzzled Sans briefly before letting him go.

“ _thank you,_ ” the gold-toothed skeleton gratefully whispered. “i mean, i don’t mind the rgp bro, but stars the hours are demanding.”

“It’s a wonder you still push yourself to meet their expectations,” Papyrus teased. “Explains why I’m always catching you napping.”

“ _hey_ most of us regular monsters ain’t built with yer energy boss,” Sans playfully argued. “i know _i_ sure ain’t.” Smiling to himself, the tall skeleton sighed.

“I’m just...worried, Sans,” Papyrus admitted. “You do so much, with little to no recognition. Yet you continue as if it’s no big feat.” 

No other monster he knew worked as many hours as the older skeleton sibling did. No other monster Sans knew had the motivation to. Then again, he required no other form besides Papyrus. His super cool bro was all he needed. 

“it’s cuz it’s not bro,” Sans answered simply. “that just draws unwanted attention. y’know how i am.” Cracking a wide grin, he continued with a slightly saucy tone and a wink, “y’know the only attention i want is yours.”

Sockets like saucers momentarily, his cute brother turned away a moment to hide the crimson dusting on his cheeks.

“Stars damn you Sans,” Papyrus huffed. “You’re infuriatingly adorable.”

“i can say the same for you,” he agreed flirtatiously. “c’mere.” Standing on his toes, Sans planted a chaste kiss on Pap’s cheek, and giggled when his bro lifted his scarf to conceal his face. Pushing his bemused older brother away, Papyrus shot him a not-so-serious glare.

“That’s enough,” he reproved mildly. “We’re here.” 

\---

Once at the Captain’s house, Papyrus politely wiped his feet on the mat before rapping at the door. As they waited for a response, he regarded his brother with a sideways glance. Though Sans appeared his usual self, he was carrying himself a little slouchier than normal, and his eyelights had glowed less vibrantly since he finished his story.

“Go rest,” he commanded softly.

“ya sure?” Sans asked, not bothering to hold back a yawn. Papyrus nodded.

“I’ll handle her. You regain some energy.” The corner of his jaw lifting slightly, the tall skeleton urged him with a sweep of his chin.

“have it your way boss.” The shorter skeleton rocked on his heels as a blip of blue magic followed him a ways away. “keep in touch.” 

Papyrus waited until the magic dissipated. Stubborn as the tall skeleton was, he and Sans had butted heads over little things like this. And this time was an exception. It wasn’t that Papyrus thought it embarrassing or belittling to show up accompanied by his brother--Sans and Undyne just never got off on the right foot. 

Intimidating as the Captain was, the stout skeleton had decided that answering to her was unnecessary. As much as his brother’s behavior annoyed her, Sans was the most reliable of the other sentries. With his ability to teleport known to Papyrus now, it made sense how his brother was able to appear at the drop of a hat.

Undyne found him more a relentless fly over her head more than anything. Not that Sans brought the worst in others--he was just really good at pressing their buttons. If he chose to that is.

Papyrus could say he sent him away out of partial fear over worry. But he truly did not want to see Sans passing out should they need to venture into the woods again.

He couldn’t protect him if he couldn’t keep up.

 

A steady gloved hand reached for the door.

It opened with a creak. Like the stinking maw of a beast just fed, he could smell the stench of the night previous wafting in her abode.

If he had a throat he would surely swallow the hot saliva of warning. If he had the ability he’d bite back the urge to vomit.

He didn’t need to know the Captain long to pick up on her primary vice.

Sometimes he wished he weren’t so perceptive.

Gently nudging a bottle away from the threshold, the tall skeleton stepped quietly into the Captain’s house. His only hope for now was that she was asleep. Undyne, though loud and brash when sober, was a very quiet, calculative drunk. Dangerously so. The best case scenario was always if he caught her slumbering.

He could gently wake her then. Nurse her hangover. He’d done it before, when he had to physically drag her sorry ass out of the filthy water of The Dump. Papyrus barely recognized her then. The glowing ends of her antennae had dimmed, but he smelled the damage before they illuminated the gaping emptiness that was her left eye. 

The tall skeleton softly stepped through her home, sniffing every once in awhile, and covering his face with his scarf. He never asked what had happened that evening, but inwardly he knew--the loss of her eye was just the beginning. 

As he reached the open door of her bedroom, the skeleton sentry seethed at the sight of her sprawled body. Half hanging off her unkempt bed, uneven teeth jutted from her gaping maw. Empty bottles of different sizes littered her room. 

Looking at her now, Papyrus was disgusted at how far she had fallen. Teeth set in a repulsed frown, the tall skeleton unthinkingly grabbed the fish by the scruff of her loosened collar.

“ **Get up,** ” he commanded. Startled, Undyne’s mouth snapped shut. Red laced the yellow sclera of her eyes. 

“Puh--pyrus?” she drooled dumbly, absentmindedly wiping saliva from her chin. “What you doin’ ‘ere?” Weakly reaching for the skeleton’s arms, spit covered hands grasped at the fabric of his gloves. Papyrus did his best to not recoil at her touch.

“You sent for me,” he said slowly, firmly. “We need to talk. Sans and I, we found something in the forest.” The fish monster rubbed at her head.

“Dun remember much a last night,” she drawled. “Alphys though...” her eyes widened, and pupils shrank. “ _Alphys._ ”

Half falling, half pushing, Undyne elbowed at the plated space his internal organs would be if he had any. To his displeasure, she managed a dent in her stupor. “Lemme go Pap--” she slurred. “Alphys--I gotta--” Wrestling herself away, her bare foot slipped on a rogue bottle. 

“ _Not in your condition,_ ” the skeleton growled, thrusting a calculated hand out to catch her. Still she fought. Even as he wrested her with both arms inches above the carpet. She wasn’t the strongest guard for nothing. She wasn’t _Captain_ for nothing. 

Even in this state he still respected her. Even showing her ugly side she was still his best friend.

“She SAW!” the fish monster cried out in desperation. Flinging her weight backward in an attempt to unbalance him, Undyne reiterated, “She fucking _saw_ Pap--” Holding his ground, Papyrus steadied himself, as he shifted back to counter her weight. She swung an elbow near his face, and it grazed his zygomatic process. “And I tried ta… _I fucking--_ ” Papyrus held her firmly. Until her wails filled the room. Until her protests reduced to sobs. 

Her upper half finally gave out as she hung her head in shame. Lifting his arms to cover her face, she wiped at rolling tears. Her breaths came out as gasps. And it was here that he let his friend down. Slowly releasing his hold on the sobbing fish, the skeleton backed away.

Tiredly sighing, Papyrus brushed at the point of impact on his cheek. Allowing her a moment, he crouched by her side and drew a protective arm around her shoulder. Leaning into her better fin, he brushed hair-like strands of antenna from her face.

“You can apologize once you’ve cleaned up,” he uttered. “Perhaps by then your recovery will be swift.” Strong arms caught him off guard as they embraced him. Nodding into the metal over his chest, Undyne faced him with tear-stained cheeks. 

It had never been this bad before. And though Papyrus didn’t fully understand the situation, he accepted the hug, as his friend and Captain squeezed him again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A much needed conversation ensues between Papyrus and Undyne.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your patience!! I had trouble with this chapter--god did it sit for a while. I had written two scenarios for this that were growing in length and it _just. wasn't. working_ until I took pieces from each to make a satisfactory result. c:
> 
> This is shorter than the previous chapter but I do hope you all enjoy!

Undyne was always the ideal picture of self-confidence. Strong, and unafraid to show it. Eager to promote justice and protect the weak. Even if it meant she throw herself into situations others wouldn’t, even if it meant injury. 

Papyrus admired her then, in her reckless youth. He still did even after Asgore took her under his proverbial wing. She was the hero everyone needed and deserved. 

So to see her at her lowest was difficult. To have to shoulder the burden of how she privately destroyed herself was equally disheartening.

But if he didn’t try to help her through it, who would? 

 

Once you become the image of strength in the Underground, it’s difficult to allow yourself times of weakness. It’s almost seen as a betrayal of the people. Perhaps that was why Asgore put so much on her, why she was constantly in a state of stress. Because he too couldn’t match that idealism either. 

Because being King, he could only do so much for his people and himself. And as Asgore had little company to turn to when in times of desperation, it seemed using Undyne as a crutch was all he was capable of now. 

Papyrus couldn’t stand that she allowed it. All it did was result in a vehement cycle of repeated suffering.

What Undyne needed was an intervention. What she needed was a better way to cope. 

Wringing his hands in frustration, Papyrus glared at a bottle in the hallway, before proceeding to fling it into the nearest waste bin. The glass shattered upon impact, and the skeleton expelled a satisfied sigh.

Determined, the skeleton vowed he’d beat the habit out of her if he must. Superior or not, Undyne was his friend. He would not tolerate this behavior any longer. 

The tall skeleton leaned against the wall outside the bathroom. Muffled splashes of water and the slap of a towel echoed through the door as she bathed. Huffing, Papyrus took a moment to slowly exhale. There was no need to fly off the handle. He was better than this.

 

Once he heard the sound of water draining, he strode to the kitchen. Filling a kettle with water, the skeleton set it on the burner and adjusted the flames so they danced underneath. 

Sifting through her cupboards, he gingerly shook and removed empty containers until he found a forgotten box of tea in the back of the highest shelf. Examining it, Papyrus sighed quietly, as he poured the dried petals into a small strainer. Opening the cabinet next to the stove, he peeked at the contents.

As she lived alone, Undyne never really needed more than one cup, yet she kept a cupboard full. All aquatic themed in some capacity. But only one of those stood out the most to her.

It showed through the fade in color, and the interior’s ringed stains. It showed with the way she held it gingerly at the fan-tailed handle, and how she’d idly thumb its smooth snout when in thought.

Papyrus reached for it, that cup, and washed the dust off its glazed surface. It reminded him of happier, simpler times not long ago. Before all this responsibility, before Undyne rose the ranks to become Captain. 

Before, in the absence of the Queen, she was chosen to become the King’s successor.

 

Waiting for the strangled whistle of the kettle, Papyrus set the strainer over the ceramic mug and poured the water in. Tea now soaking, he readied a tray with sugar, and walked down the hall to Undyne’s room. Lightly knocking on the door jamb, Papyrus treaded into her room, where his fish friend was tossing crumpled shirts from her closet onto her bed.

“Fucking idiot, past-Undyne,” she snarled to herself. “Why in the Void didja not do laundry?” Setting down the tray on her mostly clean nightstand, Papyrus idly threw some bottles into the nearest wastebasket.

“If you need, I can do it,” he offered. Undyne shot him an imposing glare as she tossed a balled-up garment at her bed.

“‘m not gonna ask _you_ to do _my_ laundry Papyrus.” Shrugging noncommittally, the skeleton smirked.

“Why? Worried I’ll see the 'presents' you acquire for your Lady Love?” 

“Oh _please_ ,” she scoffed, “like you haven’t seen me in worse.” A badly repressed snort escaped from his teeth.

“Stars that was almost embarrassing.”

“Remind me to never go to formal events in anything besides my tailored suit,” she scoffed. With her hands she mimicked yapping dogs, her voice a ranging mockery of falsetto to bass. 

 

“'Captain you say? A Lady such as yourself?' ' _Outrageous! Astounding! A sideshow I’d pay to see!_ ' 'May I Offer My Lady A Cleansing Beverage of Gross-Ass Internal Turmoil?' 'oh of _course_ i’d love to show open disgust over your clearly awesome battle scars!' Blah blah blah blah blah.” Hands now clenched into fists, her knuckles met, popping in the process. 

“Glad Royal Meetings are only once a year. I can’t stand those prissy ass Capital monsters.”

“I swear, they always seem to have a stick up their asses,” Papyrus giggled from behind his hand. Amused at her mockery of them, he added his own as well, pantomiming his own steaming cup of tea.

“'As A Skeleton, Do You Sir Also Find The Dastardly Presence of Us Fleshy Monsters To Be Highly Offensive?' ' _What about the tax on snow? Do you believe it unjustified and unregulated a practice--an excuse for the King to steal our hard-earned g for his own monetary gain?_ ' Um _hello_ , it’s called stimulating the economy? Taxes wouldn’t be a thing if we didn’t also require G to live.”

Laughing aloud, the two monsters took turns making fun of the officials they had met that day until they were breathless. 

 

“Stars--that was just a huge mess,” Undyne chuckled, fingers barely containing her large smile. “ _And that Starsdamned proximity to Hotland_ \--shit man. I swear even that far away I was _dying._ ” Shaking her head fondly, she sighed reminiscently.

“Don’t forget how you had to lug your hydrator around,” the skeleton added with a giggle, “If only the Doctor had enough funding to strategically place water coolers in _all_ of the Underground.” Antennae twisting agitatedly, Undyne moaned.

“ _Don’t remind me._ I swear if Alphys makes me one with a more efficient power supply I wouldn’t have to worry about toting it around in the first place.” Smiling, Papyrus strode toward her bed, and made an effort to flatten those wrinkles.

“There’s tea,” he mentioned, gesturing toward the tray with his chin. Almost immediately perking up, the partially clothed fish monster took wide strides over the garbage in her room to reach the cup.

Her gills wriggled excitedly at the smell. Lips parting, she turned toward her friend with a mix of relief and surprise. 

 

“I thought I ran out,” she whispered gratefully. Papyrus beamed modestly.

“To enjoy something you love is a privilege,” he replied. Smiling to herself, Undyne stirred in some sugar and took a sip of her yellow flower tea.

“He hasn’t found time to make more,” she mused. “Wish he wasn’t so busy. Maybe then he can teach me to make it myself.” A comfortable quiet settled as Undyne drank her tea. 

Crimson eyelights fixed distractedly on the carpeted floor as Papyrus herded his thoughts.

 

“He’s been keeping you busy, hasn’t he?” he clarified. Blowing steam off the surface of her drink, Undyne paused a moment.

“Nothing I can’t handle,” she muttered.

“Of course,” the skeleton scoffed lightheartedly, “what with your loyal companions Heineken and Corona at your side.” The fish monster shot him a daggered look, before sipping at her tea again.

“Remind me why you’re here again? Y’know, now that I’m not drunk outta my fucking mind.” Papyrus glared in return. If anyone could match his and Sans’s stubbornness it was Undyne. And he promised himself he wouldn’t allow her to redirect like that.

 

He had allowed the subject to drop once before, but this time he wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of dodging the touchy subject. No, as her confidant and friend he _will_ force her to face it.

“I’m glad you’re mostly back to your old self,” Papyrus said with a relieved smile. “That bath did you good. Maybe now you can tell me what happened this time.” Undyne glanced at him, annoyed but curious.

“Nah, you tell me,” she grinned. “I wanna see if your guess is close enough.” Rubbing his mental foramen, Papyrus shrugged.

“You had a quarrel with Alphys,” he began matter-of-factly, “or perhaps some altercation. That much I understand. But leading up to it...” He raised a bored brow ridge. “What did the old goat want this time?” Undyne frowned. Lower teeth jutted from her slight underbite. 

 

“Show some respect,” she crossed her arms in warning. “That old goat’s our King.”

“Is it about the mines again?” he redirected, “about those little ones and that black gunk they keep coughing up?” Scowling, the fish monster turned away, and tiredly rubbed at her brow.

“No, not this time.”

“Is it about the air quality of the inhabited areas of both Hotland and the Capital?” Again, a quick headshake.

“The population crisis? The overcrowding?” Irritated, a snarl ripped through her teeth.

“ _It’s not **fucking** those!_ ”

“Oh, so he’ll keep piling problems on you like the Humans do us?” The teacup met the tray with a forceful, but controlled clink.

 

“SHUT. UP!” Pointing an accusing finger, Undyne’s voice rose to a roar. “YOU KNOW FOR A _FACT_ ASGORE’S GOT _ENOUGH_ FUCKING PROBLEMS TO DEAL WITH.” 

“IT DOESN’T EXCUSE HIM FROM USING YOU LIKE THAT,” he firmly assessed, controlled tone matching hers. “HE’S DRIVING YOUR STRESS LEVELS TO THE ROOF AND WE _BOTH_ KNOW HE’S NOT EVEN THE BEST _CANDIDATE--_ ”

“DON’T YOU DARE--”

“ _TO FUCKING RULE!_ ” Red eye glowering, Undyne stomped toward him. Stopping an arm’s length away, her eyes narrowed. Her teeth bared in a snarl.

 

“I can’t even _begin_ to explain how _fucking wrong_ you are, Bonehead,” she spoke, voice dangerously low. Like spitting poison at Papyrus’ face, she snapped her maw at him. “You don’t even know the _first thing_ about _him **or about being King!**_ ”

“No,” he admitted, “but I understand enough that _you_ could do better.”

Her brows creased with revulsion as she stepped back.

“What are you _suggesting?_ ”

 

“All I’m saying is that should the time ever come,” Papyrus refuted carefully, “your rule has the potential to be better.”

“Better?” she repeated, “ _ **Better?!**_ ” With a forced laugh, Undyne looked to her infuriatingly perceptive comrade. “How can I be both Captain of the Guard _and_ Queen?!” she demanded. “I got enough on my plate as is!”

“At least then it’ll be the problems you put upon yourself. At least then you can redistribute the responsibility to others you trust.” Rising to meet her, Papyrus kept his eyelights trained on her as his hands gestured to himself.

 

“You have me, Alphys, even _Sans_ ,” he continued. “Asgore,” he shook his head with clear disappointment. Staring unyieldingly into Undyne’s eyes, Papyrus spat out the next statement. 

“Asgore...he has no one _but_ you. _And he exploits it._ Because the only other people he could count on want nothing to do with him whatsoever.” 

Lowering his head, the skeleton shook it with a sigh. “Perhaps they too, desired a change. They had known when to leave.” Tilting his head up to face Undyne again, Papyrus exhaled slowly. “Why don’t you?”

 

He didn’t miss the quiver in her lip as she fought to steady her tears.

“Because he needs me,” she answered. “No one else will do it. No one else will help him.” Reaching out to her friend, her voice quivered. “You’ve seen it--how much shit they put on him,” she reasoned. “You’re right, he doesn't _have_ anyone but me _because assholes like **you** refuse to **give a fuck!**_ ” Resolutely, she straightened, her tone commanding and mostly back to her original self. “I will _not. Abandon. My King._ ”

 

A silence hung as the two maintained unwavering eye contact. 

“I hope he at least acknowledges how loyal and dutiful a successor you are,” he uttered. “Because if he doesn’t I will _personally see to it._ ” Their faces inches apart, Undyne raised her chin to glower at her friend.

“I will not allow you to threaten him,” she forewarned, punctuating her words with controlled anger, a whispered rage.

“He’s the reason you do this to yourself,” Papyrus ratiocinated. “He is the catalyst that ignites your _problem_ in the first place. And it’s unfair for _you_ as well as your _dear Doctor._ ”

“ _Don’t,_ ” she sneered.

“She’s already involved as is, she’s the fucking Royal Scientist.”

“ _She didn’t need to know._ ”

“But she saw.” Jerking away, the fish monster covered her face. Sharp nails clawed at her head, her furling antennae.

 

“ _She never should have!_ ” she yelled. “It’s _my_ problem! It’s _my_ responsibility. _**My** burden. Not hers!_ ”

“Undyne you can’t do everything alone,” Papyrus enunciated. “You need to take care of yourself. Look where’s it’s got you.” Picking up a stray bottle, he waved it near her. “I’m certain you’ve acquainted yourself with this Green-neck plenty of times.” 

Sharp claws raked at her head as she yanked them downward. Snatching the bottle from his hand, Undyne chucked it into the wall. Green glass shards exploded. Glowering, magic smoked from beneath her skewed eyepatch.

“I DON’T NEED _YOU_ TO TELL ME HOW TO LIVE!”

“You’re right,” Papyrus replied. “You should be having this talk with _Asgore_.” 

 

Sweat beaded on her forehead as her pupil nearly slitted. The skeleton could hear the grind of her large teeth and her breath expel hotly. Even before she summoned her spear, he spotted the twist of her wrist and the unclenching of her hand. 

Crimson bones materialized as she thrust her fully manifested weapon at him. Catching the spearhead between two smoking blades, Papyrus twisted the polearm away. Expelling a slow breath, he allowed himself time to analyze her.

The fact that he induced this meant she wouldn’t hold back. But she also wouldn’t think ahead. 

 

Mouth curled and teeth bared, Undyne summoned spears beneath the skeleton. The lights of the summoning circles alerted the tall guard, and he stepped away, as spears sprang from the floor. Like a dance, Papyrus switched between dodging and blocking her attacks.

And even though he knew his best friend wouldn’t, he had to remind himself she may actually want to inflict real damage. He otherwise had no others means to truly protect himself.

Clearly frustrated, Undyne doubled her efforts. Summoning circles dotted her floor sporadically. Spears sailed around and over the lanky skeleton.

Out of anger, out of spite, her attacks would do nothing. So Papyrus egged her on.

“What’s the matter Captain?” he asked, “Can’t _spear_ a hit?” Snarling, the Captain launched a giant lance in his direction. It shattered the window and plunged at full force into the rock face outside. The resounding echo shook the ground a moment to startle the skeleton.

And as he recovered, he turned and made a break for the kitchen. Heatedly, Undyne pursued him, a new spear materializing in her hand.

“Stars Damnit Papyrus,” she growled in frustration, “stop dodging and FIGHT ME!” Rounding the corner, her feet near-skidded as Undyne ran to catch up to him. 

“ _And watch you cry as you lose?_ ” he gasped mockingly over his shoulder, “NEVER!”

 

Carpet became tile as her feet positioned to pounce. Undyne dashed through the doorway and leaped toward the skeleton, spear in hand.

“NNNNGGGHHHHHH QUIT DANCING YOU FUCKING MORON!” Twin swords raking at the ground, Papyrus swung them upward, ready to meet her--when suddenly--

A flash of blue and red.

A jerk as their souls became encased forcefully in magic.

Red smoked from glaring sockets as Sans flung the two away from each other. Furiously he glowered at Papyrus only but a moment before Sans turned to face Undyne.

Glaring at the Captain, the usually snarky, infuriatingly efficient skeleton brother snarled defensively, red eyelights blazing.

“that’s enough,” Sans commanded. “now tell me what the fuck is going on.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Fell bros finally get to talk to Undyne about those goddamn Temmies.
> 
> It doesn't go according to plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update because I finally figured out what the fuck was wrong with how I was writing this HOLY JESUS.
> 
> I'll be sticking to shorter chapters now! 6-8 pages instead of my usual 10-12! ~~Except I accidentally started writing more and now this chapter is actually almost 10 pages whoops!~~ Less stress that way for me, more content in a more reasonable time for all of you! :D ~~(And hopefully it won't be like, half a year before you get another update haha ^^;)~~

A quick debrief, and Sans was left shaking his head, distal phalanges digging into his furrowed brow ridge. 

“look, whatever the fuck your problem is, you _shouldn’t_ be taking it out on _my. bro!_ ” 

“Oh hush Brother,” argued Papyrus dismissively, “I handled it accordingly.”

“ _ **no**_ ,” Sans bellowed, eyelights flaring. “instigating a fucking fight is _not_ handling it!” he shot back, “ _clearly_ i was wrong to assume you’d discuss this like _adults._ ” An inappropriately timed stifled chuckle had red eyelights honing in on the Captain.

“and _you._ ”

Glaring daggers at Undyne, Sans seethed through rigid teeth to calm himself. 

“i don’t know what in the void you learned from asgore, but _most_ higher ranking guards keep a level head. _in **and** off_ the field.”

Her jagged teeth in a rigid line, Undyne looked away, almost embarrassed.

“for fuck’s sake if i didn’t swear under you as a member of the guard, i'd say asgore picked ya outta nepotism.” Spitting out the next sentence, Undyne clenched her jaw at the biting words. “ _only the best fer his favorite little firecracker_ ”

“You’re **not** helping,” Papyrus cut in, “she has enough to deal with as is.” Fuming, Sans jerked at the defense.

“ _now look here ya little **smart-ass--**_ ”

“LEAVE HIM OUT OF THIS, OKAY?” Her fist met the table, and one side see-sawed upward at the impact. Antennae bristling, Undyne breathed unsteadily. “He was just trying to help--” she spat, so tired of all these emotional shenanigans, “--in his own _fucking_ way.” Exhaling sharply, she pulled hairlike strands away from her face. “I just--I want to do everything myself,” she admitted. “Because if no one will step the fuck up, it HAS to be me!” Teeth gaping with surprise, the brothers stared at her. “It’s only _ever_ me,” she confessed.

Seeing it not his place, Sans stood down as his brother rose.

“Undyne, you have _us,_ ” Papyrus answered, moving to place a hand on her shoulder. “We can accomplish more together! We can gain mutual respect and acknowledgement together! Have we not done so already? Do you not pride yourself in your achievements?”

“How can I when all it’s got me is an angry girlfriend and a drinking problem?” Frustrated tears welled in her eye as she gripped Papyrus’ shoulders. “I should be better,” she choked out. “I’m _supposed_ to be better!” Ashamed of her tears, Undyne released him as she turned away. “But I’m _not_.” Long arms gently drew her near as thin hands wiped at her tears. “She may not even want to talk to me, Pap,” she sobbed, “Not after what I did to her friend!”

At the word friend, Sans’ eyelights shrank.

“you _didn’t,_ ” he breathed. Sensing the masked hostility, the fish monster turned further away from Sans.

“It. was an _accident,_ ” Undyne said carefully, stiffly. Taking a few deep breaths, Sans exhaled and found a chair to sit in. Covering his face with his hands, he muffled a long groan.

“stars damnit ‘dyne,” he hissed under his breath. “i can’t believe this.”

The pause that filled the room felt like the atmosphere itself was holding its breath.

“Sorry for disappointing you,” Undyne muttered, wiping a stray tear from her eye.

Uncovering his face, Sans gestured with stiff hands for emphasis. 

“look, we got caught up in whatever the void threw our way. i get it--” gesticulating for emphasis, Sans continued, “undyne _probably_ needs a therapist but clearly she only knows how to speak in fists, the king’s apparently a huge fuckwad who doesn’t have any friends--” At this, Undyne sneered and glared daggers at him. “--but there’s a time and place ta talk about it,” he finished. 

Eyeing Papyrus, Sans gestured with his skull. 

“i hate to cut this short, but we came here ta talk about those fucking creatures we found in the woods.” Eyelights now on the Captain, Sans continued. “did pap get even close to mentioning ‘em?” Brows knitting, Undyne turned to Papyrus.

“Hmph.” Wiping residual tears away with the heel of her palm, Undyne thought back a moment. “Not really.” Blinking, Papyrus cleared his throat as he released her.

“Yes, ah...outside Snowdin,” he began, straightening and crossing his arms across his chest, “along our patrol route we came across a set of tracks leading into the woods.” Brow creasing deeper, Undyne narrowed her eye at him.

“Go on,” she nodded, intrigued.

“Taking it upon myself,” Papyrus continued, “I boldly followed them!”

“ya mean stupidly, right?” Sans commented offhandedly. “i had ta chase him down y’know,” he said more to Undyne, “wasn’t too fun of a jog if ya ask me.”

“Wait, so you just _ran in?_ ” Undyne exclaimed with a start.

“It could have been a human!” Papyrus interjected.

“ _What, really?_ ” Undyne whipped her head so fast she could have gotten a whiplash.

“but boss, didn’t ya have me confirm the tracks when i finally caught up with ya?” Papyrus grinned confidently as he replied,

“I _THOUGHT_ it was a human!” At this, Undyne immediately deflated.

“preeetty sure humans don’t walk on all fours pap,” Sans remarked. In response, Papyrus flushed crimson.

“When did you think it appropriate to inform me of such?” he punctuated each word slowly. “ _Clearly you_ haven’t met a human either! _None of us have seen a human!_ ” With gloved hands like claws, Papyrus seemed very close to strangling Sans as the Captain smacked her forehead. Undyne expelled a loud _**WHAT**_ before she stomped over to Papyrus. Grabbing him by the neck of his sweater, Undyne pushed him into the wall.

“ _Bonehead!_ What did I tell you about running into unknown territory?”

“Don’t go without a plan?” The look on her face smouldered. 

“And WHAT DID YOU GO OUT AND DO?!”

“To investigate under the given circumstances was my only option,” he defended. “Had I waited until after the storm had passed, the trail would have gone cold!” At this, Sans snickered, and Papyrus glared at him. 

“Ugh, if it wasn’t a human, then what was it?!” Undyne interrupted.

“turned out to be a temmie,” Sans stated, his left socket empty.

Brow furrowing, Undyne narrowed her eye at them as she released her hold on Papyrus.

“A Temmie,” she repeated, disbelieving, “ _outside Snowdin?_ ”

“Correct,” Papyrus noted matter-of-factly, adjusting his sweater from under his armor. “A scout, to be exact. And it led others near our borders. They might have even infiltrated Snowdin had we not discovered them.” Distractedly running her fingers through her antennae, Undyne spoke slowly, contemplatively.

“That can’t be right,” she shook her head. “Temmies have no reason to be out that far, and even if they did, Alphys’ cameras would’ve caught ‘em.”

“It is quite possible that these Temmies never lived in the compound. They showed evidence of higher cognitive functions. Though more feral in nature, they exhibited the ability to tactfully maneuver, and attempted to ambush Sans and I.” 

“boss, since when were you a fucking expert?” Sans commented, both eyelights fully displayed, “i thought ya hated them.”

Papyrus, too into his regaling recount to notice, raised his head slightly to face Undyne. “Quite unlike our Temmies in Waterfall. For them to have evaded the Dear Doctor’s cameras is not, _regrettably_ , implausible.”

The fish monster scratched at her hairline and frowned.

“It’s also possible the Dear Doctor chose not to set surveillance that far in. Why would she?” Papyrus continued, “No monsters regularly venture into the forest.”

“You saying she should?” she asked sarcastically, crossing her arms. “I mean, sighting Temmies outside Waterfall is weird but it’s not a big enough reason to set more cameras up.” Cocking her head, she continued. “Besides, did they even _do_ anything?”

Puffing his chest, Papyrus furrowed his brow ridge. 

“Why, of course! They attacked us! Hunted us even!”

“Okay, but did you like, aggravate them or something? Unless you like barged into the woods magic blazing they shouldn’t have been aggressive in the least,” she pointed out.

Sheepishly, Papyrus scratched at his vertebrae.

“I misread how many would await us,” he lamented. “Otherwise I would have addressed the situation differently.” Dumbfounded, Undyne stared at him, astonished.

“No wonder you keep requesting to station near your brother!” she gaped. “Are you _this_ incompetent without him?!”

“hey at least he took control of it,” Sans chimed in. “saved me more than once.” Grinning at his brother, Sans sidled next to Undyne. “he took’em out pretty quick too.” Pushing Sans aside, Undyne huffed. Grinning, Sans found a chair and sat.

“That doesn’t change the fact that you provoked them in the first place,” she snapped. “If you barge into _my_ house and start causing a ruckus, I’d try and kick you out too!” Exhaling exasperatedly, she dragged a hand down her face. “Look, Papyrus. You’re a cool dude and all, but running into Stars-Knows-Where like that and provoking displaced Temmies makes _you_ the asshole--” the look on Papyrus’s face suggested a difference in opinion. “--Yeah, sure ya got attacked," she reasoned, "But ya shoulda left them alone at the first sign of trouble.” 

Flabbergasted, Papyrus spluttered incoherently before gritting his teeth in a frown. Sighing, Undyne crossed her arms as she eyed her friend.

“I know you have a weird thing against them Pap, but even if these Temmies just happen to have sharper teeth than the ones in Waterfall, they can’t be that big of a threat. The ones you encountered were probably just as scared as you and acted on it. And if I’m right, they felt threatened when you both showed up out of nowhere and attacked _them._ ” 

“ _They attacked first._ ”

Gesturing tiredly, Undyne blinked, unamused. 

“You can spin it however way y’want but I’m not gonna waste resources just because you made a dumb decision.”

Sockets saucers, Papyrus stared dumbfoundedly as Sans fought to stifle his laughter. 

“So _clearly_ you didn’t just leave them be,” Undyne stated with exasperation. “What did you do?” Clasping his hands nervously, crimson eyelights flitted between Undyne’s and the floor.

“We ah… _I_ dusted them. _In self defense_ ,” he quickly added. Inhaling sharply, Undyne’s mouth became a line. 

“What in the Void Papyrus,” she seethed disbelieving. “I didn’t think you’d be this dumb. Fuck.” Running hands down her face, Undyne groaned loudly and threw her head downward before slowly lifting it up again.

“You could have called me instead of fucking _exterminating_ them y’know.” Red dusted the entirety of his skull as Papyrus shouted.

“I HAD IT UNDER CONTROL! THOSE PESTS WERE NO MATCH FOR ME AND I DID NOT REQUIRE YOUR ASSISTANCE. I COULDN’T HAVE ANYWAY WERE YOU NOT DRUNK OUT OF YOUR MIND LAST NIGHT.” Taken aback by the cutting tone, Undyne snarled.

“DON’T GO CALLING ME OUT WHEN YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY,” she answered. “Get your _fucking facts_ straight before you go spouting off insults.”

“Do You Mean The Temmies Or Yourself?” he enunciated.

“I mean both,” she replied carefully. “You’re my friend Papyrus, but you’re also _my_ responsibility. When you go off hog wild, you endanger yourself _and_ whoever’s with you.” At this, her gaze rested on Sans, before returning to Papyrus. “You’re the best we got and I _can’t_ have you throwing yourself in danger like that. We can’t afford to be reckless with Monarch resources, let alone your very life.” 

“I was merely regarding the safety of Snowdin!” Papyrus interjected. 

“Over _what?_ ” she scoffed, “Temmies running rampant? Temmies murdering fellow monsters and stealing food from The Dump?” Having no answer, his teeth hung parted before clenching tightly.

“But what if they return?” Papyrus protested. “We must be prepared for retaliation!”

“Whatever the fuck happened yesterday happened,” she replied simply, “and we can’t change that. Displaced Temmies or a Human, you disobeyed orders by seeking them out in neutral territory.” 

“ _Undyne--!!_ ” he gasped offendedly.

“Just _let it go_ Papyrus,” Undyne suggested icily. “If they come back and do serious damage I’ll acknowledge them as a problem. But for now, you two are prohibited from entering the woods further. I’ll have Doge close them off. Sans, you go confirm the location.”

Saluting with two phalanges against his brow bone, Sans grinned.

“aye aye cap.” Turning to her subordinate, Undyne clapped a hand on Papyrus’s pauldron covered shoulder. Her gaze lingered at the chestpiece before she regarded him. 

“Papyrus, you’ll be with me this shift.”

Heatedly expelling a breath, he stiffened at the contact. As his Captain’s hand fell from the metal on his shoulder, Papyrus turned away. 

“Understood,” he confirmed.

Her hand reached for her leg when Undyne realized she was still just wearing shorts. 

“I left my phone in my room,” she said flatly. “Gimme a sec.” 

“Take all the time you need,” Papyrus muttered. Rounding the corner, Undyne eyed him a moment before she stepped into the hall. Once she was gone, Papyrus analyzed his brother. His hand covered his mouth as if to hide a grin Sans was clearly terrible at concealing. “YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY--” Papyrus accused.

“i think it’s _hilarious--_ ” Sans belted, “getting all chewed up by the captain and shit, ‘specially after that stunt you pulled with her?” Sans literally shook in the chair to contain his laughter. “that look on your face was _priceless._ ”

“You don’t think I know what I’m doing when it comes to Undyne?” Papyrus huffed. “Sometimes fighting is the only way to get through to her.”

“ _yeah,_ like you can speak her language of fists better than an aaron.” Gasping in offense, the blush on Papyrus’s face deepened. 

“AT LEAST I AM NOT A CONCEITED NARCISSIST!”

“eh, i dunno boss,” Sans sang. “you _do_ take a while around the mirror sometimes.”

“WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON YOU PRICK?!”

“mine,” Sans cheekily grinned. “and boss lemme tell ya, i was worried fucking sick for almost nothing.” His smile lowered in a matter of seconds, and Sans turned hollowly so his gaze fixed on the table in front of him.

The quiet that enveloped the two became chillingly unbearable as Papyrus bored into Sans’s skull with his eyelights. Gazing downcast, Sans shook his head.

“i really thought it was worse than this,” he chuckled anxiously. Rubbing his sockets with his metacarpals, Sans exhaled exasperatedly. “when i got here, you both were already at it. i could hear ya clear past the welcome mat. and when she let loose that spear--” Sans whistled through his teeth and mimicked the sound of shattering glass. “--stars it got me bolting.” Rubbing his temple, Sans’ skull met the table with a gentle tap.

“We worried you,” Papyrus realized, tone soft. And with hushed regret, “ _I_ worried you.”

“look--bro,” Sans mumbled, “when ya ran off like that, i didn’t get a chance to tell ya to wait for me.” Turning, zygomatic process to the table, Sans looked to him, “you ain’t a babybones no more, but stars i can’t just let you go off by yourself when you don’t know what yer getting into.”

“Brother, with all due respect,” Papyrus countered, “I am just as capable as you. And one day there will come a time when we must face the world without each other.” Papyrus took a breath and exhaled slowly. “I can only hope to the Stars that should that ever happen, the interim would be short.” Sans nodded knowingly as he lifted his skull off the table.

“when you’re in over your dumbskull, where do ya think i’ll be?” Sans asked as he raised his shoulders slightly and slumped against the chair, “right next to ya--” he smiled, as his eyelights glowed, “--because that’s what bros do.”

And a genuine smile creased Papyrus’s teeth before he could stop it.

“We need to finish this quickly so we may return home,” he chuckled lightly. “I do not know how much longer I can wait.” Sniggering in response, Sans motioned for Papyrus to come closer.

When Papyrus did, Sans gently brushed a hand to his face and leaned forward.

Papyrus moved to close their distance as Sans’s teeth softly grazed the bone.

“i love ya bro,” he whispered. Teeth clanking against Papyrus’s, he chuckled. “next time ya do something dumb, at least try to warn me.” Papyrus laughed heartily.

“I promise,” he replied, as he slipped his materialized tongue between Sans's teeth. “I love you too.”

Sans felt the heat engulf his zygomatic processes before he could stop it, and without hesitation, he tilted his head into his brother’s kiss. Their tongues met as they licked at each other’s teeth. Sockets half-lidded, Sans leaned into Papyrus’ advances, enthusiasm building with each pass of his slippery, crimson ecto-appendage. 

Remembering where they were, Sans’ sockets widened in realization.

“boss… _boss_ ,” he gasped, reluctantly holding himself back, “u-undyne--” Suddenly, Papyrus’ tongue shoved deeper into his mouth and Sans found himself whimpering, wanting-- And Papyrus released him with a mischievous purr.

“Excited?” It took most of Sans’ self-control to suppress a loud whine.

“what happened ta...when we got home?” he stumbled to speak coherently. Shit, the one time Sans wished Papyrus couldn’t get him so worked up so easily.

“Oh please,” Papyrus hummed into Sans’ neck, “I can’t indulge my brother after he dispelled our fight in such a heroic way? Besides, a friendly teasing can’t compare to what I plan to do to you _later._ ” His crimson tongue descended Sans’ cervical vertebrae, and with a soft whimper Sans gave in.

\---

It wasn’t until they heard loud stomping did the two reluctantly scramble to untangle themselves. 

“Alright Boneheads, listen up!” Undyne commanded, now clothed in pants and a tank top. “Alphys is gonna need ya both ta--” Her eye widened with surprise when she walked in on their compromising position.

Disgusted, Undyne turned away with a jerk.

“Stars _Damnit_ you guys! Go do your weird thing somewhere else!” Embarrassed, but more than willing to make her more uncomfortable, Sans reached for her invitingly.

“by all means, ‘dyne, come right in,” he teased. “we could use another hand.”

“AS IF YOU COULD CAJOLE ME INTO YOUR DEBAUCHERY,” she yelled. Irritatedly exhaling, Undyne chanced a glance at Papyrus, who was equally red as well.

“I _swear_ ,” she hissed, “you guys do that at the worst times!”

“Look, I’ll take responsibility for this,” Papyrus offered. And with an otherwise unscathed grin, “Now, before we so rudely interrupted--”

Rubbing at her eye as if to cleanse her vision, Undyne frowned and huffed.

“Look, just get off each other and let’s head out,” she motioned for Papyrus to follow. “I don’t wanna keep her waiting.” Chuckling, he lifted himself off Sans, making sure to catch his still-smoking eyelights.

“After you, Dear Captain,” he bowed. Rolling her eye, Undyne opened the door and the two filed on out.

Staring where they once stood, Sans clutched at his sternum, where his soul glowed erratically bright.

“damnit bro,” he hissed, as a faint glow emanated from beneath the fabric of his shorts, “why’d ya gotta be so cruel.”


End file.
